Oh how I wish I was back in the countryside, in a place without sirens and air planes rattling my head at night. Yes I am writing this early in the night, but for the first time in weeks every one bar me in this house is tucked up in bed for early nights, so I am left alone with the animals all of whom are as nocturnal as I. So what do I notice?
I tell you what I notice, there is a constant hum of background traffic, this is Wednesday night, so reason for the world to be out celebrating the weekend. At regular intervals there is a flight heading to places far, then there is the regular blast of sirens. Once you get past all that racket, there is the squeaking of a dog dreaming of his bone and the odd hiss as one cat is jealous of another corner or table space. Behind all that noise with the TV turned off I finally hear wind more suited to mid November and the sound of a heavy down pour of autumn rain.
But even if I returned to the countryside this wouldn't improve vastly as there is always the sounds of nature and now a days the background noise of the roads so happily carved through our gloriously green land. And now in every house there is the constant buzz of electronics in the house, your PC, fridge, freezers and so on. Our white goods are responsible of the majority of the white noise as it is now called. this white noise is so great that if we were actually able to time travel as much as we would pass out by the smell in Tudor times some one from then would burst their ear drums on arrival from the constant noise. that's how much the day to day noise has increased in what 500 years. I am sure in the those days you had less migraines as well, as I am convinced that white noise and migraines have a direct link to one another.
However if you think about it, is that such a thing as natural silence? or is there always background noise, like in the Artic there is the sounds of winds and ice cracking, in the desert again there is the wind and the odd bug or snake, and the sand moving. There is no such thing as true silence except in man made conditions. Hence man struggles to process it, and in some wars it was used as a form of torture. Silence is natural as utopia is a achievable, yet we all hope to find both at times in our lives. Hence the saying silence is golden, it is as it is unachievable, and unlivable.
The strangest thing I have found is since my last few big ear operations where I lost a chunk of my hearing I can no longer sleep with out noise of TV or radio. Much as I want the peace and quiet, when I attempt to fall asleep my body panics and goes into night terrors. Its a nightmare when I room share with friends as they have to put up with that unbearable racket of night time TV. Everyone in this house has tried to cure me of this habit, but every time they turn it off I wake up, heck I wake up when the channel I leave it on turns off at the end of its broadcasting. My body is that desperate for sounds, and whats more if I leave it on the news I find I am still absorbing it, which isn't good as it means I not fully asleep at any time. yet I am not constantly tired, even the doctors when I am in hospital can seem to explain it, they used to insist I slept in silence especially after an ear operation, and what they found was I couldn't, unless they used the highest dose of sleep medication, and even then the sleep would be fitful and restless. I would wake more tired and usually having done GBH to a nurse or someone in my sleep as they try to keep me within the confines of my bed. So is this how the human race is evolving or am I just a freak of nature, I don't know.
All I know is in my daydreams I seek silence and peace, where as in my reality those two things don't go together at all. Silence may be golden in principle but in reality it is a quest to seek the impossible. Its a funny world really, we seek the unachievable and dream for the unlivable, what we achieve in this life though, that's the real miracle.
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
Hunting for gold
Not quite going into the league of leprechauns here but just much fun. In my home town we have had the privilege of two Gold medallists from the Olympics and Paralympics. Between them their are now 6 gold letterboxes around the borough and for the last 24 hours we have been on a mission to find them.
Joanna Rowsell has her two, one in Carshalton, found and one in Cheam as yet to be found. Then we have the wonderful David Weir who has four post boxes we have found one in Wallington and spent the rest of the day hunting them down. Result un found, but then I found out there is a logically reason, he has yet to decide where to put them. So that explains my lack of gold success, but we had fun trying, and once they have been painted we will resume our hunt. But to be honest the fun has been in the search. Although its no where near the hard work put in by the athletes whom they honour but it seems right that we have to hunt for them.
As we walked (or in my case hopped) away from our last find of the day mum asked a sensible question, how long do we think they will remain ? I personally would like them to remain at least to the next Olympics so they remain a visual stimulation to those considering acting on their achievements. Whether they do or not remains to be seen, but it is worth asking for that. As the athletes worked hard for the last four years just to make the team, does it not seem reasonable that they are honoured for the same amount of time?
Looking at the bigger picture, I glanced through all the weekly magazines this week and already the success of a nation has been majorly replaced by pop stars and reality show contestants. Sure there is the odd reference to Jessica Ennis and couple of others but none of the paralympic stars are glossing the covers of even the more classy of these magazines. Personally I would love to see Hannah Cockcroft or Ellie Simmons on the front of OK or Hello. It would be the final step forward to equally for all, and such a morale boast for those youngsters who may have their own disability. Instead we are in danger of replacing those true hero's with 2 dimensional fame and money hungry souls who would sell their mother to get the right kind of pr. Is this really what we want the next generation growing up to idolise.
In my day (that makes me feel old) we had a mixture of people to idolise, film stars, and musicians yes, but also conservationists and sports stars. Now a days there are a lot of people hyped up on their own fame via reality stars, even pop stars like Girls Aloud and JLS are products of such shows. In the same instant please don't get me started about shows like TOWIE and Made in Chelsea, whats the point? honestly I have never meet such a shallow excuse of a TV show let alone make the people out of it a person to idolise. The idea of role models and the like is some one to whom you would have to work to achieve their status, not dye your hair blond, spray your skin with goodness knows what and then have more plastic surgery than a barbie doll. In the same light I am so grateful my goddaughter would rather break her arm skateboarding than in a nail bar, she is learning the value of working to achieve something rather than making herself a stereotype to fit in.
I am not saying every celebrity is that bad, but the ones that do the hard work to achieve it on their own often don't have the time or inclination to grace the cover of the magazine week in and out. Those ones you may be lucky to find an article on them once a month, but mainly only after the mandatory pres junket pre show/film/album release. Like the athletes they have too much to do to waste the time, as they are working for their status. In the same light they don't have the same selling power, and its for this reason you won't find David Weir as the cover boy of heat or the likes. The people in charge don't think they will sell.
The only way this whole situation will change is if we change our attitudes, refuse to buy the gossip rags until they start putting articles of interest and real interviews in them, and not types on becoming the next wag or worse. Like finding gold in the old days it took hard work, achieve gold status as role model requires the same. That's the lesson we need to install in the younger generation. For the mean time I am keeping up my gold hunt, its the least I can do sticks and all.
Joanna Rowsell has her two, one in Carshalton, found and one in Cheam as yet to be found. Then we have the wonderful David Weir who has four post boxes we have found one in Wallington and spent the rest of the day hunting them down. Result un found, but then I found out there is a logically reason, he has yet to decide where to put them. So that explains my lack of gold success, but we had fun trying, and once they have been painted we will resume our hunt. But to be honest the fun has been in the search. Although its no where near the hard work put in by the athletes whom they honour but it seems right that we have to hunt for them.
As we walked (or in my case hopped) away from our last find of the day mum asked a sensible question, how long do we think they will remain ? I personally would like them to remain at least to the next Olympics so they remain a visual stimulation to those considering acting on their achievements. Whether they do or not remains to be seen, but it is worth asking for that. As the athletes worked hard for the last four years just to make the team, does it not seem reasonable that they are honoured for the same amount of time?
Looking at the bigger picture, I glanced through all the weekly magazines this week and already the success of a nation has been majorly replaced by pop stars and reality show contestants. Sure there is the odd reference to Jessica Ennis and couple of others but none of the paralympic stars are glossing the covers of even the more classy of these magazines. Personally I would love to see Hannah Cockcroft or Ellie Simmons on the front of OK or Hello. It would be the final step forward to equally for all, and such a morale boast for those youngsters who may have their own disability. Instead we are in danger of replacing those true hero's with 2 dimensional fame and money hungry souls who would sell their mother to get the right kind of pr. Is this really what we want the next generation growing up to idolise.
In my day (that makes me feel old) we had a mixture of people to idolise, film stars, and musicians yes, but also conservationists and sports stars. Now a days there are a lot of people hyped up on their own fame via reality stars, even pop stars like Girls Aloud and JLS are products of such shows. In the same instant please don't get me started about shows like TOWIE and Made in Chelsea, whats the point? honestly I have never meet such a shallow excuse of a TV show let alone make the people out of it a person to idolise. The idea of role models and the like is some one to whom you would have to work to achieve their status, not dye your hair blond, spray your skin with goodness knows what and then have more plastic surgery than a barbie doll. In the same light I am so grateful my goddaughter would rather break her arm skateboarding than in a nail bar, she is learning the value of working to achieve something rather than making herself a stereotype to fit in.
I am not saying every celebrity is that bad, but the ones that do the hard work to achieve it on their own often don't have the time or inclination to grace the cover of the magazine week in and out. Those ones you may be lucky to find an article on them once a month, but mainly only after the mandatory pres junket pre show/film/album release. Like the athletes they have too much to do to waste the time, as they are working for their status. In the same light they don't have the same selling power, and its for this reason you won't find David Weir as the cover boy of heat or the likes. The people in charge don't think they will sell.
The only way this whole situation will change is if we change our attitudes, refuse to buy the gossip rags until they start putting articles of interest and real interviews in them, and not types on becoming the next wag or worse. Like finding gold in the old days it took hard work, achieve gold status as role model requires the same. That's the lesson we need to install in the younger generation. For the mean time I am keeping up my gold hunt, its the least I can do sticks and all.
Time to look at 9/11 another way
Before any one argues with me the title is the words said by a survivor of that tragedy 11 years ago and it got me thinking. Like a lot of people today I have spent at least a moment today reflecting on that day, I couldn't help it, but as a whole I have been trying not to become morose over it.
4 years ago I was on a flight home from Dallas, I had not a bad feeling about coming home on that date, but I was on heightened senses. This was made worse when 2 hours into the flight 4 men locked themselves in the all the loos in economy and caused a queue of agitated passengers. It wasn't long till that annoyance soon changed to panic when they were in there for an excessive amount of time. In the end there was a full blown shouting match between a group of passengers and the cabin crew over it. Now I am nervous flier at the best of times but this was the last thing I needed. We always fly the red eye home and I nearly always don't sleep for the best part of two days because of this, but even I had been given reason to panic. It turned out it was Ramadan and the passengers had been given permission to pray there. Now my gut instinct was, why the hell choose the loos as the offered prayer room, why not at the back of the cabin where it wouldn't have alerted every one to their presence, and cause panic that nearly caused the plane to land in New York. How ever when talking to some Muslim friends after their re action was how inconsiderate of their Muslim counterparts to fly knowing that they had to break fast during the flight with prayer. Either or would have been fine, but the truth is we are never going to erase that fear from people.
How ever we can not let this fear continue to eat at the world society the way it is. There are many good points that have come out of the ashes of that day. Most of us respect and support our armed forces in a way unheard of in my youth. We are a lot more aware and less travelling in our own bubble, and there were great friendships made through loss and actions of hero's. I am not saying forget or anything like that. I am asking we move on and build on the good. There are too many people already struggling with survivor guilt in their lives and does re hashing it every year help them or hinder a hard recovery? Are we actually in danger of cheapen the memory of all those lost by making it an annual event, instead of letting the families deal with it their own way.
Like the hero's of the two world wars and all the events following, these events need to be filed to the memories of landmark events which made hero's out of normal people and lessons were learn. For as long as there is a human race on this earth there is always going to be war. Utopia will never be anything other than a dream, we just hold the responsibility to learn and move on from our mistakes. So maybe we should stop looking at it as the day the western world got attacked and instead the day the ordinary man showed he could be a hero. Celebrate the lives of those lost and those that survived. For by doing that is far more powerful a weapon to those who were destined to hurt that day. I refuse to say it was done in the name of any God or religious label, in the same way I refuse to acknowledge the deeds done in WWII were done by a christian. As no religion breeds hate that deep or gives carte Blanche to mass murder, that is mans action and choice alone.
So today and in years to come let us light a candle, and give a moments reflection towards the people living or not who became hero's that day. Then honour their memory by moving on and building a better world.
4 years ago I was on a flight home from Dallas, I had not a bad feeling about coming home on that date, but I was on heightened senses. This was made worse when 2 hours into the flight 4 men locked themselves in the all the loos in economy and caused a queue of agitated passengers. It wasn't long till that annoyance soon changed to panic when they were in there for an excessive amount of time. In the end there was a full blown shouting match between a group of passengers and the cabin crew over it. Now I am nervous flier at the best of times but this was the last thing I needed. We always fly the red eye home and I nearly always don't sleep for the best part of two days because of this, but even I had been given reason to panic. It turned out it was Ramadan and the passengers had been given permission to pray there. Now my gut instinct was, why the hell choose the loos as the offered prayer room, why not at the back of the cabin where it wouldn't have alerted every one to their presence, and cause panic that nearly caused the plane to land in New York. How ever when talking to some Muslim friends after their re action was how inconsiderate of their Muslim counterparts to fly knowing that they had to break fast during the flight with prayer. Either or would have been fine, but the truth is we are never going to erase that fear from people.
How ever we can not let this fear continue to eat at the world society the way it is. There are many good points that have come out of the ashes of that day. Most of us respect and support our armed forces in a way unheard of in my youth. We are a lot more aware and less travelling in our own bubble, and there were great friendships made through loss and actions of hero's. I am not saying forget or anything like that. I am asking we move on and build on the good. There are too many people already struggling with survivor guilt in their lives and does re hashing it every year help them or hinder a hard recovery? Are we actually in danger of cheapen the memory of all those lost by making it an annual event, instead of letting the families deal with it their own way.
Like the hero's of the two world wars and all the events following, these events need to be filed to the memories of landmark events which made hero's out of normal people and lessons were learn. For as long as there is a human race on this earth there is always going to be war. Utopia will never be anything other than a dream, we just hold the responsibility to learn and move on from our mistakes. So maybe we should stop looking at it as the day the western world got attacked and instead the day the ordinary man showed he could be a hero. Celebrate the lives of those lost and those that survived. For by doing that is far more powerful a weapon to those who were destined to hurt that day. I refuse to say it was done in the name of any God or religious label, in the same way I refuse to acknowledge the deeds done in WWII were done by a christian. As no religion breeds hate that deep or gives carte Blanche to mass murder, that is mans action and choice alone.
So today and in years to come let us light a candle, and give a moments reflection towards the people living or not who became hero's that day. Then honour their memory by moving on and building a better world.
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
When destiny holds your dreams
This is a hard on, my life is now officially on pause till next Monday. Then all hell breaks out. I can't make any plans for anything my birthday, outings anything till after pain clinic. All because they hold the deck of cards called my life.
That sounds a bit exaggerated but there is more to it. Next Monday my husband also has a hospital appointment with a different clinic and a different hospital, to see if he needs surgery, he also finds out if he has got the job he has been promised. So basically his life is on hold as well. But because of my situation I could be referred straight to another hospital and clinic not for pain management but for the operation that my physio, GP and myself don't think I can cope with at the moment.
So for the next few days its a case of going through the motions of living, and little else. Granted I have a nice evening out on Saturday planned, and hubby does have a two day training course on Thurs and Fri that the job centre insist he attends even tho they now know there is a possibility he won't be around to complete it. But its the days in between when we are just having to fill our time but not dare look forward or make a single plan. That's the hard part not knowing, which way any of it is going to turn out. I am not even looking on the negative side, it is just there are too many variables here to guess or gamble.
That's when a person struggles to fill their time, and when the smallest thing will upset them. Trust me its like living in the biggest cabin fever war zone ever. So now we have all been separated like warring cats I got to think what can I do or at least plan for this week then I saw the date. In a few minutes it will be the anniversary of 9/11 and slam my world is back in context. I don't think my memory can ever fully erase the memory of watching that unfold on the news.
It was another day another illness for me. Everyone else was away on holiday except my flat mate who was at work. Mum was driving down to the family in Devon and I was stuck in bed with antibiotic reaction. I couldn't believe it when it flashed up on the news and they went live to it. Unfortunately the BBC forgot to time edit it so yes those who were watching saw the full horror of people throwing themselves out the doom struck building. As I watched the second building being hit my phones went crazy because what people may or may not have known or remember is London was the other target and quietly people were being told to get out the city. Also all planes were grounded and there was this eery hush suddenly over the city and surrounding boroughs. I was trying to find ways out of London for my flat mats brother and his girlfriend as for a while TFL cancelled everything, then those that were cancelled were naturally full of frightened people. In the mean time I was also receiving calls from mum periodically pretending nothing was wrong as she hadn't heard or seen the news (she can't work car radio). Unbeknown to mum is the fact that we were actually planning getting out the area and going down to join her if it got bad, by we I mean my flat mate , 2 dogs and 6 cats and I. It was a frightening couple of hours. I don;t know I can't explain it there was a fear so great it was palatable.
As it happened we stayed put, but that night we just keep watching and replaying the horror at disbelief. It sounds wrong but it was so hard to accept that there were real people in that whole situation dying. Those people who had all their dreams not just crushed but their very life being taken away. I don't think I truly absorbed that for a couple of days then the tears started and the grief, for people I didn't know and their families who couldn't understand why their loved ones had been killed.
It wasn't just a city in shock it was a worldwide shock, something that was repeated in London on 7/7, and that's something you don't just forget and move on from.
All I can say is yep its hard when life grinds your life to a temporary stand still, trust me I know how hard it can be thanks to illness, or for other reasons with other people. But I would rather be grateful I have a life to grind to a halt. All those people who lost their lives in the various attacks on and stemming from 9/11 deserve a moments silence from all those who lived through it. Destiny may hold our dreams, but violence robbed them of a lot more, and left hundreds of 1st hand victims and victims of their families..
May you all travel safe today and I bless all those near and dear to me, all people I have met and yet to meet and all of you my readers.
That sounds a bit exaggerated but there is more to it. Next Monday my husband also has a hospital appointment with a different clinic and a different hospital, to see if he needs surgery, he also finds out if he has got the job he has been promised. So basically his life is on hold as well. But because of my situation I could be referred straight to another hospital and clinic not for pain management but for the operation that my physio, GP and myself don't think I can cope with at the moment.
So for the next few days its a case of going through the motions of living, and little else. Granted I have a nice evening out on Saturday planned, and hubby does have a two day training course on Thurs and Fri that the job centre insist he attends even tho they now know there is a possibility he won't be around to complete it. But its the days in between when we are just having to fill our time but not dare look forward or make a single plan. That's the hard part not knowing, which way any of it is going to turn out. I am not even looking on the negative side, it is just there are too many variables here to guess or gamble.
That's when a person struggles to fill their time, and when the smallest thing will upset them. Trust me its like living in the biggest cabin fever war zone ever. So now we have all been separated like warring cats I got to think what can I do or at least plan for this week then I saw the date. In a few minutes it will be the anniversary of 9/11 and slam my world is back in context. I don't think my memory can ever fully erase the memory of watching that unfold on the news.
It was another day another illness for me. Everyone else was away on holiday except my flat mate who was at work. Mum was driving down to the family in Devon and I was stuck in bed with antibiotic reaction. I couldn't believe it when it flashed up on the news and they went live to it. Unfortunately the BBC forgot to time edit it so yes those who were watching saw the full horror of people throwing themselves out the doom struck building. As I watched the second building being hit my phones went crazy because what people may or may not have known or remember is London was the other target and quietly people were being told to get out the city. Also all planes were grounded and there was this eery hush suddenly over the city and surrounding boroughs. I was trying to find ways out of London for my flat mats brother and his girlfriend as for a while TFL cancelled everything, then those that were cancelled were naturally full of frightened people. In the mean time I was also receiving calls from mum periodically pretending nothing was wrong as she hadn't heard or seen the news (she can't work car radio). Unbeknown to mum is the fact that we were actually planning getting out the area and going down to join her if it got bad, by we I mean my flat mate , 2 dogs and 6 cats and I. It was a frightening couple of hours. I don;t know I can't explain it there was a fear so great it was palatable.
As it happened we stayed put, but that night we just keep watching and replaying the horror at disbelief. It sounds wrong but it was so hard to accept that there were real people in that whole situation dying. Those people who had all their dreams not just crushed but their very life being taken away. I don't think I truly absorbed that for a couple of days then the tears started and the grief, for people I didn't know and their families who couldn't understand why their loved ones had been killed.
It wasn't just a city in shock it was a worldwide shock, something that was repeated in London on 7/7, and that's something you don't just forget and move on from.
All I can say is yep its hard when life grinds your life to a temporary stand still, trust me I know how hard it can be thanks to illness, or for other reasons with other people. But I would rather be grateful I have a life to grind to a halt. All those people who lost their lives in the various attacks on and stemming from 9/11 deserve a moments silence from all those who lived through it. Destiny may hold our dreams, but violence robbed them of a lot more, and left hundreds of 1st hand victims and victims of their families..
May you all travel safe today and I bless all those near and dear to me, all people I have met and yet to meet and all of you my readers.
Monday, 10 September 2012
Todays the day we stopped to celebrate
In my near 40 years I have seen London do a lot of things. Royal weddings and funerals, jubilees (three of them), been attacked by bombings and suffered stock market crashes. But I have never seen the parade of such magnitude. London has never stopped still so long, nor with such pride.
I am not going to ramble on or make a long blog on this, purely because I am too in awe of these athletes to find the right words. They have brought London to a rightfully earned standstill, they have taken us on a roller coaster of emotions through the last couple of months. With such a positive result.
So I will sign off this post with the following words
Team GB we salute you, you have done more than inspire a generation, you inspired us all and restored the nations pride. Well done and thank you, see you in Rio 2016
I am not going to ramble on or make a long blog on this, purely because I am too in awe of these athletes to find the right words. They have brought London to a rightfully earned standstill, they have taken us on a roller coaster of emotions through the last couple of months. With such a positive result.
So I will sign off this post with the following words
Team GB we salute you, you have done more than inspire a generation, you inspired us all and restored the nations pride. Well done and thank you, see you in Rio 2016
The great outdoors
I was beginning to forget what the world outside looked or smelt like. Crazy I know it had only been 5 days but those days dragged. A good friend got me out not just out the front door but out into the countryside where there was real greenery and a running river. Result batteries recharged.
Sounds easy plug into the real world and a person feels more human, well kind of. I am a country person no matter how much I try to fool myself I am townie as my late great uncle used to call us people who live in town. But people forget how much of my life I have spent either in the countryside or the seaside. Most summers were spent in either in Devon or up in Scotland, and weekends running throw what ever forest let a load of orienteers go crashing through. Then as I got older it wasn't unknown for a load of us pub workers to jump in a car after a weekend in the smoke and head either to some where like Leith Hill or even the coast to clear our heads as we saw the dawn in. Then I got dogs and discovered the joys of walking them in every green space we could possibly drive to. So yea the countryside and its freedom is very important to me. When recovering from swine flue (the real version) I spent every day at denbies sitting outside building Lego bricks for the Lego house (thank you Mr James May)! It was the only thing anyone could do to get me to heal, and being exposed to the sun and every element the British summer cared to throw at us did me the world of good, which was lucky as I couldn't even face food at one point.
So today was a blessing for me, I owe my friend big time, as I think she had a bit of a shock how much I had deteriorated in the month since we last went out. That time I was walking and at one point climbing up mud banks to get out of the rain, now I am reliant on crutches. But she moan about it, far from it she took it all in her stride. That really helps the situation because I am sick of those embarrassed looks you get from people when they just don't know what to say next over it. I am actually dreading going out more and catching up with other people who I haven't seen for best part of year as they will last remember me as the idiot under cars seeing whats wrong and other equally daft things. But this time is going to be a much slower person, although my wit is just as sharp. As my god daughter agrees with me I learn two languages at school apart from English, sarcasms and Anglo Saxon. But they aren't enough to distract from the initial shock of a years wear and tear.
Anyway I will deal with that on my own terms later, but for now I am still basking in the warm glow of catching the lasts embers of the great British summer. My skin still feels warm from the warmth of the sun it finally saw. True to form there were a few and I do mean few drops of rain. What was funny was the sight of 6 big tough bikers in the table next to us running for shelter whilst us women sat tough especially as it was less than 6 drops of rain per table. Nothing like a laugh like that to make a person feel good. Bikers tough? yeah right not that lot. Then there were the children playing in the stream, call me old fashioned but it was refreshing to see children being children with out the help of every electronic devise known to man. All they had were fishing nets and wellington boots, the latter being pointless as their removal revealed. In fact the afternoon is picture perfect well behaved children and dogs, pleasant pub staff and the better side of British weather.
I have even collected a leaflet on my favourite wine vineyard Denbies having expanded to having its own brewery (guess where my next non medical outing is planned for). So yes I am a happy bunny. The only worry I have is hubby has gained two tickets for Thorpe Park in 11 days. There is a big difference between sitting in a pub all afternoon and hopping round a theme park, let alone attempting rides, most of which won't let me on. But he is adamant so yes I have to go. At least I have one more planned outing before that and pain clinic, so I am praying for a miracle and that I will be more mobile. But that's not going to ruin the day for me. I have seen the great outdoors and for now that's enough.
So next time some one you know says they wish they could get out to the country, or what ever their place of sactuarary is, may be instead of thinking that would be a hassle, see if you can do it for them. There may be a multitude of reasons they are asking. One being sanity and another just to reconnect with the person they are. Thank you to the friend who knew what I needed.
Sounds easy plug into the real world and a person feels more human, well kind of. I am a country person no matter how much I try to fool myself I am townie as my late great uncle used to call us people who live in town. But people forget how much of my life I have spent either in the countryside or the seaside. Most summers were spent in either in Devon or up in Scotland, and weekends running throw what ever forest let a load of orienteers go crashing through. Then as I got older it wasn't unknown for a load of us pub workers to jump in a car after a weekend in the smoke and head either to some where like Leith Hill or even the coast to clear our heads as we saw the dawn in. Then I got dogs and discovered the joys of walking them in every green space we could possibly drive to. So yea the countryside and its freedom is very important to me. When recovering from swine flue (the real version) I spent every day at denbies sitting outside building Lego bricks for the Lego house (thank you Mr James May)! It was the only thing anyone could do to get me to heal, and being exposed to the sun and every element the British summer cared to throw at us did me the world of good, which was lucky as I couldn't even face food at one point.
So today was a blessing for me, I owe my friend big time, as I think she had a bit of a shock how much I had deteriorated in the month since we last went out. That time I was walking and at one point climbing up mud banks to get out of the rain, now I am reliant on crutches. But she moan about it, far from it she took it all in her stride. That really helps the situation because I am sick of those embarrassed looks you get from people when they just don't know what to say next over it. I am actually dreading going out more and catching up with other people who I haven't seen for best part of year as they will last remember me as the idiot under cars seeing whats wrong and other equally daft things. But this time is going to be a much slower person, although my wit is just as sharp. As my god daughter agrees with me I learn two languages at school apart from English, sarcasms and Anglo Saxon. But they aren't enough to distract from the initial shock of a years wear and tear.
Anyway I will deal with that on my own terms later, but for now I am still basking in the warm glow of catching the lasts embers of the great British summer. My skin still feels warm from the warmth of the sun it finally saw. True to form there were a few and I do mean few drops of rain. What was funny was the sight of 6 big tough bikers in the table next to us running for shelter whilst us women sat tough especially as it was less than 6 drops of rain per table. Nothing like a laugh like that to make a person feel good. Bikers tough? yeah right not that lot. Then there were the children playing in the stream, call me old fashioned but it was refreshing to see children being children with out the help of every electronic devise known to man. All they had were fishing nets and wellington boots, the latter being pointless as their removal revealed. In fact the afternoon is picture perfect well behaved children and dogs, pleasant pub staff and the better side of British weather.
I have even collected a leaflet on my favourite wine vineyard Denbies having expanded to having its own brewery (guess where my next non medical outing is planned for). So yes I am a happy bunny. The only worry I have is hubby has gained two tickets for Thorpe Park in 11 days. There is a big difference between sitting in a pub all afternoon and hopping round a theme park, let alone attempting rides, most of which won't let me on. But he is adamant so yes I have to go. At least I have one more planned outing before that and pain clinic, so I am praying for a miracle and that I will be more mobile. But that's not going to ruin the day for me. I have seen the great outdoors and for now that's enough.
So next time some one you know says they wish they could get out to the country, or what ever their place of sactuarary is, may be instead of thinking that would be a hassle, see if you can do it for them. There may be a multitude of reasons they are asking. One being sanity and another just to reconnect with the person they are. Thank you to the friend who knew what I needed.
Sunday, 9 September 2012
Silver lining and all that
Like many people in the world I imagine I am watching the closing ceremonies of the Paralympics and Olympics complete. It is full of sadness for me as I have become a real sport nut in these last few weeks. But also with gratitude, and this is going to sound so twisted, gratitude that I have been so ill that I can't work and have been able to see what we can achieve.
I like so many was scheduled to be working that mundane 9-5 all through the summer and would have only caught the evening highlights. I wouldn't have been able to stay up and watch the opening and closing ceremonies that will be remembered by millions. So yes I am thankful my illness has crippled me this summer, so I have been forced to see what can be achieved despite the odds both able and less agile.Sitting through heats and finals where records were smashed like the finest china. Where medal totals were increasing by the minutes. Where people whose back injury just made them fight back harder.
"We will never think of Disability in the same way - Paralympians have lifted the clouds of limitations" Lord Coe
And yes they did, but so did the Olympics as each and every athlete there had their own fight to achieve their place there. I would love to take it that one step further we will never look at ourselves and those around us, whether local, national or inter nationally the same way.
Please let this be silver lining on a the clouds of the world
I like so many was scheduled to be working that mundane 9-5 all through the summer and would have only caught the evening highlights. I wouldn't have been able to stay up and watch the opening and closing ceremonies that will be remembered by millions. So yes I am thankful my illness has crippled me this summer, so I have been forced to see what can be achieved despite the odds both able and less agile.Sitting through heats and finals where records were smashed like the finest china. Where medal totals were increasing by the minutes. Where people whose back injury just made them fight back harder.
"We will never think of Disability in the same way - Paralympians have lifted the clouds of limitations" Lord Coe
And yes they did, but so did the Olympics as each and every athlete there had their own fight to achieve their place there. I would love to take it that one step further we will never look at ourselves and those around us, whether local, national or inter nationally the same way.
Please let this be silver lining on a the clouds of the world
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