It finally came, the day of the medical the DHSS has demanded. To be honest no matter what distractions I used to stop myself panicking over this failed. As I got into the car to be driven there I burst into tears of fear. This was only stopped by the panic of being late I felt when we got stuck in a jam.
On arrival I was a shaking wreck, and this showed in the form I had to fill in my hand was literally so wobbly it looked like a spider had walked over the page. I dare not sit in the chairs in the waiting room for fear of spasming my back out. Fortunately I didn't have to wait too long, before I was called in escorted by mum and the doctor.
Granted the whole process wasn't as devious as I had been led to believe, it was still frightening and the mention of a physical exam sent me into a near panic attack. Call me weird but I am terrified by strangers touching me, a phobia I have had all my life. She asked endless questions, some very hard to answer as there isn't a typical day for me it all focuses round whether I have a medical appointment that day and how much pain I am in. She went through every medicine and whether I have a side affect from any of them.
Once she had done this for about 3/4 hour she did some physical tests. A peak flow breathing, eye test and some mobility tests. I couldn't complete half the mobility ones as I couldn't get onto the bench with out causing myself agony. Finally it was all over, only then did I realise I had been continually shaking throughout the medical and had been continually moving to get comfortable.
Once I filled in the necessary forms mum lead me out. We really thought we may have to call hubby to come and get me. We slowly hopped to the nearest cafe and along with the necessary medication, we enjoyed the best teacakes ever along with a mug of tea, till I stopped shaking.May I take a ment to recommend Rosie Lee Cafe in the lower end of Wimbledon, where the prices do not reflect the quality in a good way, two hot drinks and teacakes buttered and jammed, £4.70. The buns were nicely spiced and lightly toasted, heaven. Anyway I managed to pull myself together and managed the bus network home. Having to evict people out of the disabled seats.
The day could have been a lot worse, but it the wait for the outcome that is now in the back of my mind stressing me out as it could take till the end of January to get that. In the meantime I have qualified for two years of DLA and a blue badge, yet the DHSS still doubted I am ill and in the middle of treatment.
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Please feel free to leave a comment or add to this. Its only my thoughts on life. I just raise the questions in my mind.