By contrast there are some people on this earth who will bend the law of physics and sense to help their friends. I am lucky I have found I have a few of them recently. From getting me out and about, to making sure when I am them I am not at risk of hurting myself further in the crowds. There are others that will play endless games of scrabble on line with me to kill the boredom and pain on the duvet days.
I have heard a lot of rubbish spouted about the social networks recently, but I will let you into a secret. I have made as many real life friends via them, than I have in the real world on its own. I have a handful of really close friends and a further circle of normal friends. Of them some I have known pretty much all my life and may as well be family, and the rest is a mixture of people I met in cyber and people I met in person first. You know what It has made absolutely no difference to the quality of friendship I have with the person as to where I met them.
Anyway back to my friends, this has been lets just say a rapid roller coaster this week to say the least, I have had the highs of Saturday and then the crashing lows of Monday. The fact I have had to give up on the idea of going to Fridays trip to a theme park didn't help today's lousy mood along with a few other ideas looking squashed. That's when a friend stepped in and made the impossible very possible, and for that I can't thank her enough, and suddenly things turned around. No I am not off to the theme park, but that's not such a big thing, to be honest I only like 3 rides and I am not allowed on them anyway. So the evening ends up as a happy one, sans the dog not likeing the trip to vet to check his paw and most of the town hearing his barking, but you can't win them all I guess.
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
And the circus continues
OK I accept that there are people in the world who would do anything not to work and bleed our country dry. Personally I would much rather be out at work earning my own money and being able to live the life I am used to. However at the moment I have no choice and I have to live by the rules of this wonderful welfare state.
So imagine my joy this morning when dropping my sick certificate in to said offices to be advised that I will probably have to have a medical to confirm I am sick. Wonderful! even more joyous is the fact that the other benefit I am claiming also demands a probable medical. Now hear me out on this two benefits one welfare office surely they could do just the one medical if they really don't believe, a doctor and physio and a pain consultant. I mean you have to be pretty clever to convince 3 different specialists of your condition and maintain the same injury for Er 22 years. But what gets me the most is the fact they need to separate medical to prove this fact one for benefit to say I am unfit to work until its sorted and one to prove I am ill in the 1st place. Call me thick, but I see this as a massive waste of time, money and resources to duplicate the same procedure for a different piece of paperwork regarding the same matter. Either I am ill enough to gain the benefit or not. Its not as if I am asking for the world just enough to scrape by and contribute to the petrol and parking bill my mother is occurring due to my endless hospital, doctor and dentist visits. And yes dentist is a direct result of my illness as it has stripped the enamel on my teeth. As most of my friends will tell you I have the ability to break a tooth at the most inconvenient of moments, normally when I am out, abroad, on Christmas day you name it, I have done it. I am missing many teeth as they just crumbled away and half of what is left is plastic.
I know technically I get free dental at present, but they don't replace a plate where the teeth are missing and thank you illness I have managed to change the jaw shape so my old set don't even resemble the shape of my mouth now. But no I have to find the £200 for that. How people get rich on benefit I will never know I can't even break even by being good and playing it by the rules. I know welfare isn't meant to be comfortable to live on, but surely it should cover the day to day costs so a person can get better so they can return to work. Heck I have worked since I was 15 years old and paid in every penny I am meant to and I am being treated worse than some one new to the country. Explain to me how this is fair. I don't begrudge the old and the ill getting help to live they have usually paid into the system all their viable working lives. I object in being treated like I am lying till proven otherwise, that I am putting myself through this for the fun of not wanting to work. Trust me I am not I would rather be out there making more money in a week than I can get for a month of the system, and having the pride of earning it to boot.
Talk about circus trust me the logic we use to run this countries welfare is lower than circus clowns.
So imagine my joy this morning when dropping my sick certificate in to said offices to be advised that I will probably have to have a medical to confirm I am sick. Wonderful! even more joyous is the fact that the other benefit I am claiming also demands a probable medical. Now hear me out on this two benefits one welfare office surely they could do just the one medical if they really don't believe, a doctor and physio and a pain consultant. I mean you have to be pretty clever to convince 3 different specialists of your condition and maintain the same injury for Er 22 years. But what gets me the most is the fact they need to separate medical to prove this fact one for benefit to say I am unfit to work until its sorted and one to prove I am ill in the 1st place. Call me thick, but I see this as a massive waste of time, money and resources to duplicate the same procedure for a different piece of paperwork regarding the same matter. Either I am ill enough to gain the benefit or not. Its not as if I am asking for the world just enough to scrape by and contribute to the petrol and parking bill my mother is occurring due to my endless hospital, doctor and dentist visits. And yes dentist is a direct result of my illness as it has stripped the enamel on my teeth. As most of my friends will tell you I have the ability to break a tooth at the most inconvenient of moments, normally when I am out, abroad, on Christmas day you name it, I have done it. I am missing many teeth as they just crumbled away and half of what is left is plastic.
I know technically I get free dental at present, but they don't replace a plate where the teeth are missing and thank you illness I have managed to change the jaw shape so my old set don't even resemble the shape of my mouth now. But no I have to find the £200 for that. How people get rich on benefit I will never know I can't even break even by being good and playing it by the rules. I know welfare isn't meant to be comfortable to live on, but surely it should cover the day to day costs so a person can get better so they can return to work. Heck I have worked since I was 15 years old and paid in every penny I am meant to and I am being treated worse than some one new to the country. Explain to me how this is fair. I don't begrudge the old and the ill getting help to live they have usually paid into the system all their viable working lives. I object in being treated like I am lying till proven otherwise, that I am putting myself through this for the fun of not wanting to work. Trust me I am not I would rather be out there making more money in a week than I can get for a month of the system, and having the pride of earning it to boot.
Talk about circus trust me the logic we use to run this countries welfare is lower than circus clowns.
Oh what a circus
I wish I could sing that line the way it is in Evita, but today my circus involves the NHS and my back condition. The day was already blacklisted in my house as it involved hospital visits for both me and hubby dearest in different times at different hospitals along with me also needing to see my poor GP. So to say we have been chasing tails is an understatement.
Pain Clinic was an unknown entity for me, and on arrival it had the atmosphere of a morgue, no one but staff and long waits in silence. Finally I hobbled over to the room, a rather stressed mother following. The consultant was OK enough, not nice enough to scream his praises, but then I am cynical in these matters. After a 20 minute sessions of what am I taking, whats the pain like etc and etc, the out come is "we can't do a thing till you have an MRI". oh joys even after pushing I couldn't get a straight answer as to how long that will take. So I tried the other tack, what are you going to do about the pain, answer nothing till we get the results. So needless to say I left in tears of frustration and waited till the afternoon and some sense from GP.
By the time my poor GP got hold of me I was doing a very good impression of a petulant child, and not really in the mood for talking. He confirmed my suspicions that to get an MRI in less than 6 weeks is nothing short of hell freezing over, in fact he was thinking more on the 10 week scale. Then apparently there is a 2 week wait for the results to get from one hospital department to another, they really must go the scenic route. Then there is the discussion based on these results, so basically in English I will be lucky to get anywhere till after Christmas. In the plus side my GP has the ounce of common sense he was born with and has amended my medication so at least I can get out of spasm when I need to. But my count down to Christmas is now marred with this and not with getting a job as I had hoped.
Needless I can say I feel like I have my chased my tail to successfully get no where but on to another waiting list. I am getting throughly fed up with the whole situation as it is unstable more than anything. If I knew there would be pain on a constant level or something I could adjust but these highs and lows are getting wearing and now we don't even know whats truely wrong as other senioros have been added into the equasion.
So thats todays circus, the only good thing is hubbys hospital appointment went well for him and he know his health issue is not urgent and not serious. Circus is about right I am living on the merry go round I think.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Pain Clinic was an unknown entity for me, and on arrival it had the atmosphere of a morgue, no one but staff and long waits in silence. Finally I hobbled over to the room, a rather stressed mother following. The consultant was OK enough, not nice enough to scream his praises, but then I am cynical in these matters. After a 20 minute sessions of what am I taking, whats the pain like etc and etc, the out come is "we can't do a thing till you have an MRI". oh joys even after pushing I couldn't get a straight answer as to how long that will take. So I tried the other tack, what are you going to do about the pain, answer nothing till we get the results. So needless to say I left in tears of frustration and waited till the afternoon and some sense from GP.
By the time my poor GP got hold of me I was doing a very good impression of a petulant child, and not really in the mood for talking. He confirmed my suspicions that to get an MRI in less than 6 weeks is nothing short of hell freezing over, in fact he was thinking more on the 10 week scale. Then apparently there is a 2 week wait for the results to get from one hospital department to another, they really must go the scenic route. Then there is the discussion based on these results, so basically in English I will be lucky to get anywhere till after Christmas. In the plus side my GP has the ounce of common sense he was born with and has amended my medication so at least I can get out of spasm when I need to. But my count down to Christmas is now marred with this and not with getting a job as I had hoped.
Needless I can say I feel like I have my chased my tail to successfully get no where but on to another waiting list. I am getting throughly fed up with the whole situation as it is unstable more than anything. If I knew there would be pain on a constant level or something I could adjust but these highs and lows are getting wearing and now we don't even know whats truely wrong as other senioros have been added into the equasion.
So thats todays circus, the only good thing is hubbys hospital appointment went well for him and he know his health issue is not urgent and not serious. Circus is about right I am living on the merry go round I think.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Tomorrow is D day
Well actually its P day, pain clinic assessment day, and I am dreading it. I have no idea what I am walking into. Although my physio has already given me my possible options, none of us know what they deem suitable for me. Whether I am going have all my medication turned on its head just as I am getting used to it. Or whether I am going to be U turned to spinal clinic and the surgical option.
There have been may discussions about the various options I can have like which different substance can be injected into my spine. And even if I meet the criteria for them there is no guarantee I will get actual treatment this time. If I am honest the stress is showing in everyone in the house, had it not been for last nights out wearing every one out I think we would be at each others throats. As it is any irrelevant question is getting a short sharp retort.
I am meant to be having an early night so I can get up early and be at the hospital in time to find the clinic, as it is my stomach has gone into washing machine mode, with all the revolting affects food won't stay in me. It is the uncertainty of what could happen , there are way to many variables in this situation for my liking, from the possibility of getting me back to my old life to destroying any chances of that ever happening again. I don't like that many variables I like straight yes no options.
The only good side to tomorrow is the fact I had the sense to book an appointment with my GP in the afternoon so I can discuss with him what has gone on and see what he thinks about the occurrence's earlier in the day and getting his input. This may sound weird to other people but I have limits on what I am prepared to put my body through based on past experiences with operations and the knowledge I have about my own conditions. I am not going to accept surgery for surgery's sake, I would rather have a life limited to crutches than risk ending up in a wheel chair because someone didn't think opening me up would do any harm.
So here goes I am off to try and get some rest and see what the day holds, its going to be a long night.
There have been may discussions about the various options I can have like which different substance can be injected into my spine. And even if I meet the criteria for them there is no guarantee I will get actual treatment this time. If I am honest the stress is showing in everyone in the house, had it not been for last nights out wearing every one out I think we would be at each others throats. As it is any irrelevant question is getting a short sharp retort.
I am meant to be having an early night so I can get up early and be at the hospital in time to find the clinic, as it is my stomach has gone into washing machine mode, with all the revolting affects food won't stay in me. It is the uncertainty of what could happen , there are way to many variables in this situation for my liking, from the possibility of getting me back to my old life to destroying any chances of that ever happening again. I don't like that many variables I like straight yes no options.
The only good side to tomorrow is the fact I had the sense to book an appointment with my GP in the afternoon so I can discuss with him what has gone on and see what he thinks about the occurrence's earlier in the day and getting his input. This may sound weird to other people but I have limits on what I am prepared to put my body through based on past experiences with operations and the knowledge I have about my own conditions. I am not going to accept surgery for surgery's sake, I would rather have a life limited to crutches than risk ending up in a wheel chair because someone didn't think opening me up would do any harm.
So here goes I am off to try and get some rest and see what the day holds, its going to be a long night.
The smoke may have settled
I have finally surfaced from last nights fun, but I am still grinning and not even the shooting pain can remove that from my face. Although the weather may have change season whilst I slept and my husband is still moaning that I was gone for 8 hours, but I don't care.
I was so hyped and more than a little tired (pardon the pun), that I barely gave credit to the show yesterday. So here goes the run down. For a start it wasn't an exclusive event it was family fun for all with samples of different petrol fuelled activities so there was no time to get bored. Where as some types of motor sports seems to frown on the masses, this was the opposite, from my vantage point I saw every one from babies in prams to oaps on mobility scooters The Essex Arena where we were was filling its car park continually including into the 1st half hour of the show, and as the daylight faded the spotlights came on and so did the show.
The audience got to sample the drifters showing how not to crash whilst going sideways, to a demolition derby that showed how to crash in style. There where the FMX bikers who amazed the audience with their almost flying motorcycles, which not even a slight side wind could stop. The monster truck showed what monster trucks do the best, how to crunch cars to bits. Then there were the more unusual, a firetruck spouting flames whilst doing wheelies, and not just a small wheelie but the entire track on 2 wheels and then doing a 360 spin. And a stunt driver who was doing donuts in one car having set the other off in a fixed 360 spin.. For me the most amusing segment was the reliant robins racing, those drivers had no fear landing on their roof for a past time and rolled over and back on to their wheels then carrying on as if nothing had happened. Along side this motor madness where two fire dancers whose skill always leaves me in awe. How they can dance and breath fire and not get burnt leaves me jaw dropped.
There was over two hours of family entertainment rounded off with a fireworks display which signed the end of a joyous night of family entertained that even an assortment of family dogs seemed to attend with their respective owners. But what noticeable was there were no tears or tantrums from the younger members of those audience, instead those who were tired of the excitement either blasted air horns or waved glow sticks, whilst others were amused by the bungee trampoline or face painting. It reminded me of the idea events from my childhood where everyone just had fun..
When the last firework had faded and the cars were being towed from the ring people filed out, or went to the bar where those involved wound down with a beer. I have always enjoyed motoring events and prior to being ill I was at all I could afford and travel to, for me it was great to return to this. What was more interesting was my mother's reaction, she is 70 with the mental age of 20 I think as she is as mad about motor events as she is about horses. She has seen snippets of some of these stunts before but never an evening purely devoted to just stunts, her reaction was when can we go again. She didn't have a single complaint which for any pensioner is a miracle.
When we left no one worried about the hour drive home or the fact that clacket lane services seemed to be full of the local teenage community. We just had our McDs outside in the not unpleasant weather and continued home. I can't reiterate what a great night it was for young and old, out in the fresh air laden with the aromas of petrol and burning rubber. Can't wait for the next one
I was so hyped and more than a little tired (pardon the pun), that I barely gave credit to the show yesterday. So here goes the run down. For a start it wasn't an exclusive event it was family fun for all with samples of different petrol fuelled activities so there was no time to get bored. Where as some types of motor sports seems to frown on the masses, this was the opposite, from my vantage point I saw every one from babies in prams to oaps on mobility scooters The Essex Arena where we were was filling its car park continually including into the 1st half hour of the show, and as the daylight faded the spotlights came on and so did the show.
The audience got to sample the drifters showing how not to crash whilst going sideways, to a demolition derby that showed how to crash in style. There where the FMX bikers who amazed the audience with their almost flying motorcycles, which not even a slight side wind could stop. The monster truck showed what monster trucks do the best, how to crunch cars to bits. Then there were the more unusual, a firetruck spouting flames whilst doing wheelies, and not just a small wheelie but the entire track on 2 wheels and then doing a 360 spin. And a stunt driver who was doing donuts in one car having set the other off in a fixed 360 spin.. For me the most amusing segment was the reliant robins racing, those drivers had no fear landing on their roof for a past time and rolled over and back on to their wheels then carrying on as if nothing had happened. Along side this motor madness where two fire dancers whose skill always leaves me in awe. How they can dance and breath fire and not get burnt leaves me jaw dropped.
There was over two hours of family entertainment rounded off with a fireworks display which signed the end of a joyous night of family entertained that even an assortment of family dogs seemed to attend with their respective owners. But what noticeable was there were no tears or tantrums from the younger members of those audience, instead those who were tired of the excitement either blasted air horns or waved glow sticks, whilst others were amused by the bungee trampoline or face painting. It reminded me of the idea events from my childhood where everyone just had fun..
When the last firework had faded and the cars were being towed from the ring people filed out, or went to the bar where those involved wound down with a beer. I have always enjoyed motoring events and prior to being ill I was at all I could afford and travel to, for me it was great to return to this. What was more interesting was my mother's reaction, she is 70 with the mental age of 20 I think as she is as mad about motor events as she is about horses. She has seen snippets of some of these stunts before but never an evening purely devoted to just stunts, her reaction was when can we go again. She didn't have a single complaint which for any pensioner is a miracle.
When we left no one worried about the hour drive home or the fact that clacket lane services seemed to be full of the local teenage community. We just had our McDs outside in the not unpleasant weather and continued home. I can't reiterate what a great night it was for young and old, out in the fresh air laden with the aromas of petrol and burning rubber. Can't wait for the next one
Nothing like sleep
It is surprising how a sleep can change a person or dog. Yesterday was filled with whimpering and yelping, today however is a different story now its almost full blown bounce. Although Rocky is no fool and I swear he took lessons from hubby, cause when you ask him how he is feeling he dangles the sore paw to get the extra pat and attention
Even better was the fact that due to one of their ranks being injured the others behaved, we had no mid sleep Houdini's and every cat decided to have a lie in.. This is a rarity in this house normally one or other animal decides the day starts before dawn. That said they are all awake and back to their usual tricks. Although if they wear themselves out, my outing tonight will be easier on the hubby as he has animal duty and they are prone to playing him up.
But that is the fun in this house you never know whats coming next, life is full of adventures, from catching the presents so kindly brought home by various felines, to the notification of a stranger walking past the property. I can barely remember a day I haven't had to share my duvet with something furry.That said having animals does mean that my adventures are curtailed by timing, as there always has to be one person at home with them. But tonight isn't my turn, that's up to hubby for tonight mum and I are going out with a friend. So today is spent spoiling the animals and spending quality time with them.
Although one doggy maybe feeling better than he was the fact that he was so poorly yesterday disturbed the balance yesterday and more than one of them wants extra comforts. As I type this phoenix having spent the night with me has returned from his morning walk and put himself back to bed with me. Rosie won't leave Rocky for too long and Branston is overseeing the situation. So although the medical side is sorted the emotional side takes a little longer. Its a bit like any human trauma, for instance if you are in a minor car accident, you may walk away with say a broken leg that can be put in plaster that day and require tablets for a week or so. But its the mental trauma to you and those who love you that lasts longer. It works exactly the same way with at least my family of animals, when one is whipped to the vets in a hurry it takes a day or two for the panic and concern to settle even if we are only gone an hour. Suddenly those that you think hate each other are the best of friends. Even when I have a bad day they all alter their behaviour and routine to maintain a watch on me.
I know they say you shouldn't humanism animals or accredit them with human logic, and I spend a lot of my life repeating this to my husband, but at times their behaviour is very human like. I guess in many ways it's the pack mentality taking over. Except in the wild an older or weaker animal would be challenged or cast out, in the home situation they reflect the behaviour of their humans. So in this reflection they have taken to their beds and having an easy day to recover from yesterday. The only difference being I am resting to be ready for my outing later today, they are resting to recover. Either way and whatever species whether it be canine, feline or human the is nothing like sleep.
Even better was the fact that due to one of their ranks being injured the others behaved, we had no mid sleep Houdini's and every cat decided to have a lie in.. This is a rarity in this house normally one or other animal decides the day starts before dawn. That said they are all awake and back to their usual tricks. Although if they wear themselves out, my outing tonight will be easier on the hubby as he has animal duty and they are prone to playing him up.
But that is the fun in this house you never know whats coming next, life is full of adventures, from catching the presents so kindly brought home by various felines, to the notification of a stranger walking past the property. I can barely remember a day I haven't had to share my duvet with something furry.That said having animals does mean that my adventures are curtailed by timing, as there always has to be one person at home with them. But tonight isn't my turn, that's up to hubby for tonight mum and I are going out with a friend. So today is spent spoiling the animals and spending quality time with them.
Although one doggy maybe feeling better than he was the fact that he was so poorly yesterday disturbed the balance yesterday and more than one of them wants extra comforts. As I type this phoenix having spent the night with me has returned from his morning walk and put himself back to bed with me. Rosie won't leave Rocky for too long and Branston is overseeing the situation. So although the medical side is sorted the emotional side takes a little longer. Its a bit like any human trauma, for instance if you are in a minor car accident, you may walk away with say a broken leg that can be put in plaster that day and require tablets for a week or so. But its the mental trauma to you and those who love you that lasts longer. It works exactly the same way with at least my family of animals, when one is whipped to the vets in a hurry it takes a day or two for the panic and concern to settle even if we are only gone an hour. Suddenly those that you think hate each other are the best of friends. Even when I have a bad day they all alter their behaviour and routine to maintain a watch on me.
I know they say you shouldn't humanism animals or accredit them with human logic, and I spend a lot of my life repeating this to my husband, but at times their behaviour is very human like. I guess in many ways it's the pack mentality taking over. Except in the wild an older or weaker animal would be challenged or cast out, in the home situation they reflect the behaviour of their humans. So in this reflection they have taken to their beds and having an easy day to recover from yesterday. The only difference being I am resting to be ready for my outing later today, they are resting to recover. Either way and whatever species whether it be canine, feline or human the is nothing like sleep.
Rubber fumes and flaming cars
After the week of ups and downs with pain and trauma I was looking forward to this evenings event. Thanks to my very good friend who spoils me I along with mum was driven to Essex for an evening of car stunts and mayhem. So I have slept most of the day to rest from yesterdays circus, not that doggy in question minded.
Well lets just say the evening did not disappoint, we arrived 10 minutes after gates opened and already the place was filling fast. But thanks to friends careful planning we had already secured a parking bay in the disabled space, so no massive hop for me. On entering the gates we instantly saw familiar faces from other events which made the evening more special. Even luckier was the fact that we were allowed into a VIP area so I wasn't fighting the crowds to see or even having to stand all night. So in comfort we saw the entire show and were entertained from start to end, whether it be monster trucks to drifting or FMX stunts to reliant robin racing, ending with a firework show. The evening went too quickly and before we knew it, it was 12 midnight and we were sitting in Clacket Lane services yet again on our way home.
Its been a long outing for me over 7 hours and for once it didn't feel like hard work. I was able to enjoy every minute with out feeling the constant pain or discomfort of people staring at me. Even the friends I have made over the last few years at the events didn't make a song and dance about it, instead they just made sure I was able to enjoy the event. I think for the 1st time in months mums enjoyment of an event hasn't been marred by constantly worrying about me or how I am doing. It made it all so easy for us to relax and enjoy a wonderful night out and now tucked up in my bed I am smiling to myself happy and even proud of myself. As I can smell the last of the tyre smoke and burning rubber on my clothes I can cheerfully admit, it was great to be back in that world and hope I am again soon.
Well lets just say the evening did not disappoint, we arrived 10 minutes after gates opened and already the place was filling fast. But thanks to friends careful planning we had already secured a parking bay in the disabled space, so no massive hop for me. On entering the gates we instantly saw familiar faces from other events which made the evening more special. Even luckier was the fact that we were allowed into a VIP area so I wasn't fighting the crowds to see or even having to stand all night. So in comfort we saw the entire show and were entertained from start to end, whether it be monster trucks to drifting or FMX stunts to reliant robin racing, ending with a firework show. The evening went too quickly and before we knew it, it was 12 midnight and we were sitting in Clacket Lane services yet again on our way home.
Its been a long outing for me over 7 hours and for once it didn't feel like hard work. I was able to enjoy every minute with out feeling the constant pain or discomfort of people staring at me. Even the friends I have made over the last few years at the events didn't make a song and dance about it, instead they just made sure I was able to enjoy the event. I think for the 1st time in months mums enjoyment of an event hasn't been marred by constantly worrying about me or how I am doing. It made it all so easy for us to relax and enjoy a wonderful night out and now tucked up in my bed I am smiling to myself happy and even proud of myself. As I can smell the last of the tyre smoke and burning rubber on my clothes I can cheerfully admit, it was great to be back in that world and hope I am again soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)