Different dance

Kind of a different post tonight, only because I fancied a change. Tomorrow is valentine's day, or as I renamed it hallmark holiday no1. Despite being married and having had boyfriends I detest the day. The reason for this is so very complex, but I know I'm not the only one.

Apart from Christmas it is notorious for making the most number of people feel lonely, isolated and unloved. If that isn't a bad enough reason, then it should be. The other is it a completely warped history of the saint, for commercial gain. Second only to Christmas is religion manipulated to commercialism. Here is a quick history of the saint.

Valentine was eventually caught, imprisoned and tortured for performing marriage ceremonies against command of Emperor Claudius the second. There are legends surrounding Valentine's actions while in prison.

"One of the men who was to judge him in line with the Roman law at the time was a man called Asterius, whose daughter was blind. He was supposed to have prayed with and healed the young girl with such astonishing effect that Asterius himself became Christian as a result."

In the year 269 AD, Valentine was sentenced to a three part execution of a beating, stoning, and finally decapitation all because of his stand for Christian marriage. The story goes that the last words he wrote were in a note to Asterius' daughter. He inspired today's romantic missives by signing it, "from your Valentine."

Really cheerful isn't it. Hardly the stuff of red roses, stuffed bears etc. It's a story of suffering and sacrifice for the sake of others.not trying to impress by material gain. 

I remember working in an office were it was a sign of your status how many bunches of flowers were delivered to the workplace. Although I went absolutely mental one year when I couldn't get round my teams desk for interflora deliveries and a life size bear that was a giant fire hazard. Not to mention of the sugar high my team was on for the next 24 hours topped up with cheap plonk overnight. I have to admit I burst that balloon literally and metaphorically, by banning any deliveries to my team during work hours. Not because I hated the fun of it, but for the negative effect it had on others who had no deliveries or choose to keep their lives private.

Apart from that it was the sheer expense of money wasted. If you really love someone, why do you have to break the bank on an overpriced meal, crowed with others all doing the same, or roses that suddenly double in price and are totally out of season. Why not surprise them any time with a posy of their favourite flowers after a hard day, or a day out alone with a quiet meal in and uncrowded restaurant on your anniversary? Why wait till a day in your office calender reminds you of the token spending required?

St Valentine was a priest who gave his life to allow other to love. So in his memory would it not be nicer to take the money you would waste on a bunch of flowers that will be dead by Saturday, and instead give it to a charity in your other half's name. Or just perform a random act of kindness to a stranger. They are more fitting to remember the day and a lot less dividing but more uniting.

From my bed here in London happy valentines day,may your life's be filled by knowing you are loved.