I guess one of the hardest things about mobility issues, is the fact you see time fly by with out you. This last week I have only got out for the essential appointments, and there is nothing more depressing than watching the bright blue sky and glorious sunshine carry on with out you. I used to love being an outdoor person, but in the last month I feel like a hermit.
See what people forget about these issues is the fact that getting out and gong places becomes expensive. Instead of just walking round my local village I can no longer do that. I am reliant on being driven and that costs petrol money. So when funds are low I am grounded. I spend hours looking out the window looking and the sky and remembering what it feels like to have the sun on my skin. Recently I remembered a film "Pollyanna" and now I can related to it now. When I was young I couldn't understand that film and why every one became so emotional of an old black and white movie. Now I understand only too well, I have seen the same emotion on the faces of people who haven't seen me for a while. It is a mixture of horror and pity, to be truthful the worst emotions to ever see when you are feeling bad anyway.
I am not totally isolated, and thanks to patient friends I get dragged out at periodic intervals, but this week of curtailed outing's has got me thinking. How many others are stranded in this world of captivity? How many people spend their days trapped behind closed windows, watching the day past bye week by week? How many people don't speak to a person daily or feel the warmth on the sun on their skin. I can't answer this, but it doesn't just take illness or injury to trap people. All I do know is if I wasn't married, or have family I would be totally alone, awaiting rescue from friends or maybe have to have a carer and that's a frightening thought. In this world you actually can drop off the radar and cease to be missed. In the days pre cyber it would have been a lot worse as people just had phone contact and that was limited.
There has to be an answer out there some where, but for the moment I can.t find anything other than one I have myself. But is it worth our society returning to its old values of extended family and looking out for neighbours? maybe ? Tomorrow or rather later today I get to taste the sunlight and fresh air for a while. But my thoughts will linger on those less lucky than, who can but look out the window watching the colours of day fade into night and then back again.
Sunday, 9 September 2012
Scared of the bubble burst
I don't know about the rest of you but this summer has been an addict buzz. Here in Britain we have had a Golden jubilee, both Olympics , the Proms and the London and Edinburgh festivals. Those are the ones I can remember, on top of that we have had the build up of the torch relay as a nation, and local fetes, fairs and festivals. It feels like its been a non stop trip of patronism and communal spirit. The trouble is it is coming to an end, the great show at the end, after what has been a 7 year build up. We have beaten records as well the sceptics and proved we can hold our own. We can create spectacles that both bewilder and entertain whilst informing and drawing awareness. But the problem is where do we go from here.
Personally I have been saved from a summer of depression by the awe creating moments on TV and the few I have managed to attend. I have gasped at achievement and yelled at the scream when we aren't doing so well. I have even learnt how to wave instead of clap in silence. As I am sure you all have your own memories, from cheering as a family to watching something live. But its like a a giant Christmas build when you are child, what do you do when the last firework is nothing more than ash on the ground. How can we build from this with out feeling the bitter taste of post party depression.
Not trying to sound pessimistic here, in fact the opposite I am just wondering how we as individuals can build on a year of promise and positivity. How it is every persons responsibility to look outward at what we did right and where can we develop the emotions we have felt. The only way we can avoid the come down is to continue to build upward and onward. In may only take the little things, like thinking before we speak, or smiling to a stranger. But look at the good the games makers did not just nationally but internationally, just by being happy and helpful. Maybe we should all be like games makers. OK not 24/7 but on those miserable Monday mornings in these forthcoming autumn mornings when 5 minutes from home the elements have killed our hairstyles before we have even finished our 1st coffee. Or those Thursday afternoons when the week is dragging and every one is feeling the drain. There are the times we need to find our inner games maker.
Is that such a hard ask in the months and years to come, to hold on to the feeling we have achieved from the last few months. I hope not, I don't mean going round grinning all the time like you have overdosed on the red bull, but when every one else is losing faith, be the one to find it. We all have hard times, let just give every one else that hand back to this feeling. You never know you may get a kick out of it as well.
Personally I have been saved from a summer of depression by the awe creating moments on TV and the few I have managed to attend. I have gasped at achievement and yelled at the scream when we aren't doing so well. I have even learnt how to wave instead of clap in silence. As I am sure you all have your own memories, from cheering as a family to watching something live. But its like a a giant Christmas build when you are child, what do you do when the last firework is nothing more than ash on the ground. How can we build from this with out feeling the bitter taste of post party depression.
Not trying to sound pessimistic here, in fact the opposite I am just wondering how we as individuals can build on a year of promise and positivity. How it is every persons responsibility to look outward at what we did right and where can we develop the emotions we have felt. The only way we can avoid the come down is to continue to build upward and onward. In may only take the little things, like thinking before we speak, or smiling to a stranger. But look at the good the games makers did not just nationally but internationally, just by being happy and helpful. Maybe we should all be like games makers. OK not 24/7 but on those miserable Monday mornings in these forthcoming autumn mornings when 5 minutes from home the elements have killed our hairstyles before we have even finished our 1st coffee. Or those Thursday afternoons when the week is dragging and every one is feeling the drain. There are the times we need to find our inner games maker.
Is that such a hard ask in the months and years to come, to hold on to the feeling we have achieved from the last few months. I hope not, I don't mean going round grinning all the time like you have overdosed on the red bull, but when every one else is losing faith, be the one to find it. We all have hard times, let just give every one else that hand back to this feeling. You never know you may get a kick out of it as well.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Making those little tweaks
You know that horrid feeling when you have to do that great wardrobe clear out? Its finally hit me, after many years of avoidance. mainly because certain items has gone beyond the point of decent wear, and partly because I can't wear certain things with crutches.
It was originally triggered by the unforeseen death of my beloved combats. For those who don't know me I am a great believer in jeans and combats being the answer to any clothing crisis. In fact I have more in common with the top gear wardrobe than any fashion magazine. Not because I dislike fashion far from it I think its a great art form, but one that usually ends in disaster if applied to me. That and as my delightful physio words it I have the rib cage an opera singer would kill for, trouble is its stuck on a skeleton that forgot to grow the other 4 inches taller it needed to support it. Lets be clear by rib cage I mean physical rib cage not big chested, so to say I am out of proportion is a polite way to put it. So yea fashion and I don't have a friendly relationship, getting me in dress requires the words "black tie" or similar on the invite.
I am more likely to be in converse or biker boots than heels and yet I seem to have plenty of the later and not enough of the former.I like heels granted, and actually on crutches I can probably go back to wearing them, especially as my physio went against the grain and said they actually help me straighten me up. But I doubt I need 15 pairs and counting. They are just memories of days long gone, and in half the cases they will be two small now as they were pre bust foot which changed my shoe size. That's the problem though, they are memories, and ones I don't want to lose. The scary fact is up to last week I had a dress mum made me when I was 15 for the official opening night of Aspects of Love on the west end. (25 years ago if you are doing the math). Whats worse is up to 18 months ago I could still wear it, but it was looking sad, and with all the work mum put into it I was sad to wave it good bye. There are other concert and performance dresses lurking in the back of my wardrobe as well, always been keep on the words "what if". The truth what if isn't going to happen again in most of those cases, they are gone the day my hearing went from beyond pitch perfect to -80% on the left side.
There are outfits left over from when I was working bars and helping my the flat mate with his DJing. Now they I will never fit again, I was at my skinniest ever and not a healthy way. Really they should have been ditched 10 years ago when I ditched that life. But again they were held on the dream. Pity really some of them are nice although at 30 I was able to look 25 and pull of some of those outfits, now I am 40 and battle damaged not such a pleasant effect on the eye me thinks. Back then I could rip up a dance floor with the best of them all night and attract all manor of attention, my early 30s were on par with most others early 20s.
Then there is the other part of the wardrobe, that's divided formal work and casual and there lies a problem. How much of that is going to stay, am I really going to get back to work? At the moment I really don't know and that's just depressing having to file these clothes into not sure shelves. In the hope I can get back to it. I have plenty of casual clothes but they are beginning to get worn, purely because crutches wear the arms so the clothes I am wearing to protect my arms are getting damaged at an alarming rate. Then we hit the problem can't work equals not much money equals no clothes shopping. You read about the high from retail therapy well at the moment I need that high and I can't afford it. Catch 22 really. So now face the prospect of kissing good bye to years of memories good and bad, and at present can't see a way forward to make new ones.
That's the core of the problem in all us women and clothes really. They represent so much, and can help us feel a certain way. It is like a new hair cut or colour, it is a core part of who we are. I ought to snap out of this I have done re invention before. I just find it so it much harder now as the option to go back is not so certain. But it is these little tweaks that catalogue these moments. Hence there is a lot held in the loaded question "how do I look?" Hence the only advise I can give most men and some women when asked this question, please actually look at the person asking and pay attention. The person asking may have just made a small tweak to you but to them its a major deal, even if it seems like they may have just lightened their hair or altered the style of jacket they are wearing. To be honest I don't know whats coming next with me, I am limited by finances yes, but also with my own courage, do I go mad and go for something extreme or do I go for the subtle change, I truly don't know. One tweak or many? but be sure my combats aren't totally gone, that's one tweak too many...
It was originally triggered by the unforeseen death of my beloved combats. For those who don't know me I am a great believer in jeans and combats being the answer to any clothing crisis. In fact I have more in common with the top gear wardrobe than any fashion magazine. Not because I dislike fashion far from it I think its a great art form, but one that usually ends in disaster if applied to me. That and as my delightful physio words it I have the rib cage an opera singer would kill for, trouble is its stuck on a skeleton that forgot to grow the other 4 inches taller it needed to support it. Lets be clear by rib cage I mean physical rib cage not big chested, so to say I am out of proportion is a polite way to put it. So yea fashion and I don't have a friendly relationship, getting me in dress requires the words "black tie" or similar on the invite.
I am more likely to be in converse or biker boots than heels and yet I seem to have plenty of the later and not enough of the former.I like heels granted, and actually on crutches I can probably go back to wearing them, especially as my physio went against the grain and said they actually help me straighten me up. But I doubt I need 15 pairs and counting. They are just memories of days long gone, and in half the cases they will be two small now as they were pre bust foot which changed my shoe size. That's the problem though, they are memories, and ones I don't want to lose. The scary fact is up to last week I had a dress mum made me when I was 15 for the official opening night of Aspects of Love on the west end. (25 years ago if you are doing the math). Whats worse is up to 18 months ago I could still wear it, but it was looking sad, and with all the work mum put into it I was sad to wave it good bye. There are other concert and performance dresses lurking in the back of my wardrobe as well, always been keep on the words "what if". The truth what if isn't going to happen again in most of those cases, they are gone the day my hearing went from beyond pitch perfect to -80% on the left side.
There are outfits left over from when I was working bars and helping my the flat mate with his DJing. Now they I will never fit again, I was at my skinniest ever and not a healthy way. Really they should have been ditched 10 years ago when I ditched that life. But again they were held on the dream. Pity really some of them are nice although at 30 I was able to look 25 and pull of some of those outfits, now I am 40 and battle damaged not such a pleasant effect on the eye me thinks. Back then I could rip up a dance floor with the best of them all night and attract all manor of attention, my early 30s were on par with most others early 20s.
Then there is the other part of the wardrobe, that's divided formal work and casual and there lies a problem. How much of that is going to stay, am I really going to get back to work? At the moment I really don't know and that's just depressing having to file these clothes into not sure shelves. In the hope I can get back to it. I have plenty of casual clothes but they are beginning to get worn, purely because crutches wear the arms so the clothes I am wearing to protect my arms are getting damaged at an alarming rate. Then we hit the problem can't work equals not much money equals no clothes shopping. You read about the high from retail therapy well at the moment I need that high and I can't afford it. Catch 22 really. So now face the prospect of kissing good bye to years of memories good and bad, and at present can't see a way forward to make new ones.
That's the core of the problem in all us women and clothes really. They represent so much, and can help us feel a certain way. It is like a new hair cut or colour, it is a core part of who we are. I ought to snap out of this I have done re invention before. I just find it so it much harder now as the option to go back is not so certain. But it is these little tweaks that catalogue these moments. Hence there is a lot held in the loaded question "how do I look?" Hence the only advise I can give most men and some women when asked this question, please actually look at the person asking and pay attention. The person asking may have just made a small tweak to you but to them its a major deal, even if it seems like they may have just lightened their hair or altered the style of jacket they are wearing. To be honest I don't know whats coming next with me, I am limited by finances yes, but also with my own courage, do I go mad and go for something extreme or do I go for the subtle change, I truly don't know. One tweak or many? but be sure my combats aren't totally gone, that's one tweak too many...
Friday, 7 September 2012
Never give up on something you really want
Some one just tweeted that statement in this form "never give up on something you really want. Its difficult to wait but even harder to regret". Never a truer statement has been put on twitter. But how many of us give up and what makes us do so?
I know I am guilty of it, like over my 40th this year, I have had to cancel all plans I had to go to the Ivy for my birthday, something I have wanted to do for years, for two reasons mainly money but also it would be an massive strain for me to get there and back in current state. Yes I have given up on that and the regret is already being felt. But that's something small, how many of us have given up on the big stuff, getting married, going to university and so on. The question is why? what makes us prefer regret than to fight for it?
The world in its current state isn't an easy place to live in unless you have a very high paid job, enough of a nest egg stored away you could start your own nursery and excellent health. This is world wide, although the actual physical demands have got less the social factors have got harder. The days of living in caves and hunting dinner with a stick are long gone. In fact in western culture they are reduced to the dusty pages of text books. Even though less than 100 years ago Native Americans were still doing that. In fact the worse causes of social control haven't really been dominate until the turn of the 1900s. Granted life before that was hard due to illness and poor sanitation and nutrition, bur surprisingly as a human race we fought back more. An easy example is the basic civil rights to get votes for women. People died for that cause purely because they were prepared to fight for it. Now a days we don't really fight., sure individuals do like those who have survived extreme trauma fight and fight hard. But day to day do we take the easy option at the expense of our dreams.
Sure we can't always achieve the far fetched dreams we have as children, but those little dreams we have of places to go, people to see, jobs to do, what is really holding us back? ourselves? I think the answer is mainly yes. I have dreams and wishes, I hope I can achieve some if not all of them may be not today or this year even but some time. After all it was the infamous words of Martin Luther King jnr that lead a nation out of the dark ages, shouldn't these words apply to us all?
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I know I am guilty of it, like over my 40th this year, I have had to cancel all plans I had to go to the Ivy for my birthday, something I have wanted to do for years, for two reasons mainly money but also it would be an massive strain for me to get there and back in current state. Yes I have given up on that and the regret is already being felt. But that's something small, how many of us have given up on the big stuff, getting married, going to university and so on. The question is why? what makes us prefer regret than to fight for it?
The world in its current state isn't an easy place to live in unless you have a very high paid job, enough of a nest egg stored away you could start your own nursery and excellent health. This is world wide, although the actual physical demands have got less the social factors have got harder. The days of living in caves and hunting dinner with a stick are long gone. In fact in western culture they are reduced to the dusty pages of text books. Even though less than 100 years ago Native Americans were still doing that. In fact the worse causes of social control haven't really been dominate until the turn of the 1900s. Granted life before that was hard due to illness and poor sanitation and nutrition, bur surprisingly as a human race we fought back more. An easy example is the basic civil rights to get votes for women. People died for that cause purely because they were prepared to fight for it. Now a days we don't really fight., sure individuals do like those who have survived extreme trauma fight and fight hard. But day to day do we take the easy option at the expense of our dreams.
Sure we can't always achieve the far fetched dreams we have as children, but those little dreams we have of places to go, people to see, jobs to do, what is really holding us back? ourselves? I think the answer is mainly yes. I have dreams and wishes, I hope I can achieve some if not all of them may be not today or this year even but some time. After all it was the infamous words of Martin Luther King jnr that lead a nation out of the dark ages, shouldn't these words apply to us all?
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
Thursday, 6 September 2012
When speaking up is the right thing to do
As some of you may have noticed I have been following and interacting with a lot of various charities and causes. Well today thanks to one of them I ended up having for want of a better way to word it good moan, However this time I think it was for the greater good rather than a pity me.
The moan was aimed at the travel network, something that is available or supposedly available to all. However of the summer with my ailments, and travelling with my older parent, it is becoming more and more apparent, it is only any good if you have full mobility regardless of age and gender. Some of the newer the lines on the train and tube lines are more accessible, or have options to be able to travel on. But it is the mainline stations particularly in my borough are limited, My two local train stations are impossible to use to get a train to London unless you can use steep steps, which means taking a walk and bus to one of the other stations of which there only two that are fully accessible. This isn't limited to being on crutches or a wheel chair, but if you are a little unstable on your feet. It doesn't stop there Clapham Junction, which is the main change if you want to get to Waterloo or Earls Court maybe have facilities to change platform but getting on or off the train involves up to a 1/2 foot different between train and platform. I would love to say it is this isolated places, but I found New Cross Gate is in the same way and that is one of the two main stations servicing Greenwich Park for the Olympics, and after my moan I have heard I am not alone.
I wasn't planning on naming and shaming these stations, until I realised it isn't me being difficult, this is a genuine problem for every one using the network. Even parents with buggies are struggling getting on and off the trains or even on to the platforms. The problems don't stop there, how many times have you got on a train or tube and seen a perfectly able human sitting in the priority seats, I have lost count, before I had crutches I used to have rows over it, and I thought it would improve now I have them. Was I wrong or what? on the DLR I stood half the journey because the city bankers wouldn't acknowledge me let alone move from their seats. I am still in the process of being processed in the great benefit system, so I can't get a blue badge or the priority seat card that means I can evicted these people from those seats, but does that make me any less worthy. Well TFL and the main travel network does. So what am I meant to do ? sit and home and do nothing until I am fully registered? and what if the system deems I don't need any help? does that mean I am confined to my house reliant on family and friends to go anyway, and suffer what ever ridicule and pain travelling may cause.
I don't know what the answer to these questions are, or if there is ever going to be a solution suitable to all, but at least I have spoken out and told those who asked. Maybe some day transport will work for all. In the mean time I am not going to be very happy if they decide to raise their prices and make more profit before addressing this.
The moan was aimed at the travel network, something that is available or supposedly available to all. However of the summer with my ailments, and travelling with my older parent, it is becoming more and more apparent, it is only any good if you have full mobility regardless of age and gender. Some of the newer the lines on the train and tube lines are more accessible, or have options to be able to travel on. But it is the mainline stations particularly in my borough are limited, My two local train stations are impossible to use to get a train to London unless you can use steep steps, which means taking a walk and bus to one of the other stations of which there only two that are fully accessible. This isn't limited to being on crutches or a wheel chair, but if you are a little unstable on your feet. It doesn't stop there Clapham Junction, which is the main change if you want to get to Waterloo or Earls Court maybe have facilities to change platform but getting on or off the train involves up to a 1/2 foot different between train and platform. I would love to say it is this isolated places, but I found New Cross Gate is in the same way and that is one of the two main stations servicing Greenwich Park for the Olympics, and after my moan I have heard I am not alone.
I wasn't planning on naming and shaming these stations, until I realised it isn't me being difficult, this is a genuine problem for every one using the network. Even parents with buggies are struggling getting on and off the trains or even on to the platforms. The problems don't stop there, how many times have you got on a train or tube and seen a perfectly able human sitting in the priority seats, I have lost count, before I had crutches I used to have rows over it, and I thought it would improve now I have them. Was I wrong or what? on the DLR I stood half the journey because the city bankers wouldn't acknowledge me let alone move from their seats. I am still in the process of being processed in the great benefit system, so I can't get a blue badge or the priority seat card that means I can evicted these people from those seats, but does that make me any less worthy. Well TFL and the main travel network does. So what am I meant to do ? sit and home and do nothing until I am fully registered? and what if the system deems I don't need any help? does that mean I am confined to my house reliant on family and friends to go anyway, and suffer what ever ridicule and pain travelling may cause.
I don't know what the answer to these questions are, or if there is ever going to be a solution suitable to all, but at least I have spoken out and told those who asked. Maybe some day transport will work for all. In the mean time I am not going to be very happy if they decide to raise their prices and make more profit before addressing this.
When are you an adult ?
This is going to sound daft, but its a question my charming little god daughter asked me and now I am thinking about it there is no easy answer. Even the law in ambiguous with this. At 16 you are no longer a ward of the state if in care, you can make your own medical decisions, and marry with parents permission. You can have your own cash card, but you can't do a lot of things.
So you all think well you have to be 18 to be an adult, and yes in principle that's the legal answer you can vote, give blood and so on, but with more and more people going to university, you still need the bank of mum and dad to get you especially now their income is what decides how much you pay. So you aren't truly independent so are you really an adult. Going by the government changes and the way universities work, and the fact you can't stand for Parliament before society has made it really 23. Now that got me thinking, by 23 I had already collected a back catalogue of operations myself, was just about to take POA on my grandfather. I had organised a friends mothers move after a stroke, travel abroad to represent the UK, and been to college and simultaneously held down a permanent job. So if anyone told me I wasn't an adult I would have been more than offended.
But back to the original question when is a person an adult? in the context she asked it was funny as it was on the directions of using a hot water bottle. It read suitable for adult use only! how vague could that be, I mean an adult could be anyone 16 or over yet a drunken adult is no safer than a 5 year old child. In the same way I know 15 year old who have more maturity than some one my husbands age, it is all about context. What life experiences a child has defines what level of maturity they have. I always had the chance to mix in the adult world, and by my early teens I was performing in the adult world of music, as were my closest friends so our level of maturity was so far ahead of some of our peers, school was belittling to us, its not we didn't want to learn but the way we were being taught was nothing short of patronising us. Only one of us succeed in school and that's because she was in a performing arts school which worked on a different level and style of education.
Our life styles were far from conventional, we could easily be in rehearsals till gone 10 on a school night, or even have to ditch school with permission to go and perform or take exams and so on. Many a time I took an exam at lunch time or just after but not get taken back to school. Instead I would spend the afternoon with the other musicians around drinking coffee and learning stuff about performance. I did miserably at high school academically, yet when I moved to college where I was treated like an adult and they accepted my other commitments I excelled with very high grades, it was the environment and the treatment as I did the subjects I wanted in half the time all from scratch and not one below o level pass. That life style suited me and my friends who by the way were friends from like 1 years old so they weren't made in the industry we just were all alike that way. In the way I believe my god daughter has inherited our tendencies, without the performance related interests. She hasn't coped with the school environment, but I believe will excel in college.
Hence my belief you can't define adulthood by physical age alone, it depends on so much and the confidence of the person. So what was my answer to my god daughter tonight, it was simple. If you believe you can do it, then do so, if not don't. Give children enough rein that they can try but not enough to hang themselves. Fair enough I am not a parent and never pretend to be, but I remember how I liked to be treated as child. I also have a fantastic god daughter who can tell me anything, and I can always get the truth out of her with little effort. Saying that she has just turned round and said I don't act old like the other adults, which raises a more scary question, one worth thinking about.
"When did we forget to find our inner child?"
So you all think well you have to be 18 to be an adult, and yes in principle that's the legal answer you can vote, give blood and so on, but with more and more people going to university, you still need the bank of mum and dad to get you especially now their income is what decides how much you pay. So you aren't truly independent so are you really an adult. Going by the government changes and the way universities work, and the fact you can't stand for Parliament before society has made it really 23. Now that got me thinking, by 23 I had already collected a back catalogue of operations myself, was just about to take POA on my grandfather. I had organised a friends mothers move after a stroke, travel abroad to represent the UK, and been to college and simultaneously held down a permanent job. So if anyone told me I wasn't an adult I would have been more than offended.
But back to the original question when is a person an adult? in the context she asked it was funny as it was on the directions of using a hot water bottle. It read suitable for adult use only! how vague could that be, I mean an adult could be anyone 16 or over yet a drunken adult is no safer than a 5 year old child. In the same way I know 15 year old who have more maturity than some one my husbands age, it is all about context. What life experiences a child has defines what level of maturity they have. I always had the chance to mix in the adult world, and by my early teens I was performing in the adult world of music, as were my closest friends so our level of maturity was so far ahead of some of our peers, school was belittling to us, its not we didn't want to learn but the way we were being taught was nothing short of patronising us. Only one of us succeed in school and that's because she was in a performing arts school which worked on a different level and style of education.
Our life styles were far from conventional, we could easily be in rehearsals till gone 10 on a school night, or even have to ditch school with permission to go and perform or take exams and so on. Many a time I took an exam at lunch time or just after but not get taken back to school. Instead I would spend the afternoon with the other musicians around drinking coffee and learning stuff about performance. I did miserably at high school academically, yet when I moved to college where I was treated like an adult and they accepted my other commitments I excelled with very high grades, it was the environment and the treatment as I did the subjects I wanted in half the time all from scratch and not one below o level pass. That life style suited me and my friends who by the way were friends from like 1 years old so they weren't made in the industry we just were all alike that way. In the way I believe my god daughter has inherited our tendencies, without the performance related interests. She hasn't coped with the school environment, but I believe will excel in college.
Hence my belief you can't define adulthood by physical age alone, it depends on so much and the confidence of the person. So what was my answer to my god daughter tonight, it was simple. If you believe you can do it, then do so, if not don't. Give children enough rein that they can try but not enough to hang themselves. Fair enough I am not a parent and never pretend to be, but I remember how I liked to be treated as child. I also have a fantastic god daughter who can tell me anything, and I can always get the truth out of her with little effort. Saying that she has just turned round and said I don't act old like the other adults, which raises a more scary question, one worth thinking about.
"When did we forget to find our inner child?"
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
That british thing
I have been thinking what a tough race we Brits are, it must come from the weather we have to endure, or maybe its an island race thing. If you think about it we haven't been successfully invaded since 1066 ( dam Normand's). In fact in the last hundred odd years only one chump bothered and he got told to get lost. But we do have this unusual resilience, not seen in other cultures.
In times past it was call "the British stiff upper lip" and in Carry on up the Khyber they took it to extreme. I can't watch that final dinner party scene without crying with laughter.. if you haven't seen it, do so if just for those final ten minutes. Because it actually has a point, we Brits can just carry on when all else is falling around us. Think the 7/7 bombings or even the 9/11 attacks. We got on with it, yes people got seriously hurt and worse, but as a nation we healed and toughened up to it. Some of us will have grown up with the nail bombs in the 1970s and so we returned to our youth and that awareness , others referred back to the 1939-45 war. What ever generation we just pick ourselves up brush the dust off and keep going.
I notice in the last 4/5 years the old Keep Calm and Carry on message has become popular, almost as a social two fingered salute to the attacks.Taking a old World War propaganda message and making it a fashion and social statement. We have developed the message and make jokes with it like "keep calm and eat cupcakes" or twist it "now freak out and panic" basically as a society we have adapted it to every ones need. But if you think about it this is just the spirit that has taken some of the injured from either 7/7 or the armed forces to the paraolympics. Its the same spirit that made it the most successful Olympics ever especially as we are the 1st games in the Western World since the attacks. Its the same spirit that got us through those riots last year. We are a tough breed, whether you be Anglo, Scot, Celt or any of the other races that make up the British nation.
That may be why we fight for everything, for equality, for the NHS and so on, some one tries to mess the status quo and suddenly a community unites against this. Suddenly we realise we have a wonderful collection of undervalued armed forces and we start to work to improve their circumstances, where they are neglected by those in power. We don't just roll over and play dead. Nor should we, as |I grew up for a little while we lost this national pride and fighting spirit and it was a very dark place to live, the 1980s may have been great money wise, morally and socially it did little for us as a country. What was worse was the fear of wearing the St Georges flag as it had been used to symbolise some violent antisocial message. Now 30 years later we are paying for that greed and times are hard. But never have I seen so many pull together as a nation. And our flags individually and the Union Jack are something to be proud of. Sure we all have a moan here and there, but think what we have achieved and the whole vibe of the year, it has been fantastic. The harder it gets, the tougher we get.
I am not saying we are a super race or are any better than anyone else, each culture has their own coping patterns and socially accepted way of dealing, I am just saying I love being a Brit, because we can actually find a warped sense of humour amid that stiff upper lip. Long may it last, it is a British as a mug of tea or toast and marmite. I am proud to be British as it has given me the toughness to carry on.
In times past it was call "the British stiff upper lip" and in Carry on up the Khyber they took it to extreme. I can't watch that final dinner party scene without crying with laughter.. if you haven't seen it, do so if just for those final ten minutes. Because it actually has a point, we Brits can just carry on when all else is falling around us. Think the 7/7 bombings or even the 9/11 attacks. We got on with it, yes people got seriously hurt and worse, but as a nation we healed and toughened up to it. Some of us will have grown up with the nail bombs in the 1970s and so we returned to our youth and that awareness , others referred back to the 1939-45 war. What ever generation we just pick ourselves up brush the dust off and keep going.
I notice in the last 4/5 years the old Keep Calm and Carry on message has become popular, almost as a social two fingered salute to the attacks.Taking a old World War propaganda message and making it a fashion and social statement. We have developed the message and make jokes with it like "keep calm and eat cupcakes" or twist it "now freak out and panic" basically as a society we have adapted it to every ones need. But if you think about it this is just the spirit that has taken some of the injured from either 7/7 or the armed forces to the paraolympics. Its the same spirit that made it the most successful Olympics ever especially as we are the 1st games in the Western World since the attacks. Its the same spirit that got us through those riots last year. We are a tough breed, whether you be Anglo, Scot, Celt or any of the other races that make up the British nation.
That may be why we fight for everything, for equality, for the NHS and so on, some one tries to mess the status quo and suddenly a community unites against this. Suddenly we realise we have a wonderful collection of undervalued armed forces and we start to work to improve their circumstances, where they are neglected by those in power. We don't just roll over and play dead. Nor should we, as |I grew up for a little while we lost this national pride and fighting spirit and it was a very dark place to live, the 1980s may have been great money wise, morally and socially it did little for us as a country. What was worse was the fear of wearing the St Georges flag as it had been used to symbolise some violent antisocial message. Now 30 years later we are paying for that greed and times are hard. But never have I seen so many pull together as a nation. And our flags individually and the Union Jack are something to be proud of. Sure we all have a moan here and there, but think what we have achieved and the whole vibe of the year, it has been fantastic. The harder it gets, the tougher we get.
I am not saying we are a super race or are any better than anyone else, each culture has their own coping patterns and socially accepted way of dealing, I am just saying I love being a Brit, because we can actually find a warped sense of humour amid that stiff upper lip. Long may it last, it is a British as a mug of tea or toast and marmite. I am proud to be British as it has given me the toughness to carry on.
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