From a window

I guess one of the hardest things about mobility issues, is the fact you see time fly by with out you. This last week I have only got out for the essential appointments, and there is nothing more depressing than watching the bright blue sky and glorious sunshine carry on with out you. I used to love being an outdoor person, but in the last month I feel like a hermit.

See what people forget about these issues is the fact that getting out and gong places becomes expensive. Instead of just walking round my local village I can no longer do that. I am reliant on being driven and that costs petrol money. So when funds are low I am grounded. I spend hours looking out the window looking and the sky and remembering what it feels like to have the sun on my skin. Recently I remembered a film "Pollyanna" and now I can related to it now. When I was young I couldn't understand that film and why every one became so emotional of an old black and white movie. Now I understand only too well, I have seen the same emotion on the faces of people who haven't seen me for a while. It is a mixture of horror and pity, to be truthful the worst emotions to ever see when you are feeling bad anyway.

I am not totally isolated, and thanks to patient friends I get dragged out at periodic intervals, but this week of curtailed outing's has got me thinking. How many others are stranded in this world of captivity? How many people spend their days trapped behind closed windows, watching the day past bye week by week? How many people don't speak to a person daily or feel the warmth on the sun on their skin. I can't answer this, but it doesn't just take illness or injury to trap people. All I do know is if I wasn't married, or have family I would be totally alone, awaiting rescue from friends or  maybe have to have a carer and that's a frightening thought. In this world you actually can drop off the radar and cease to be missed. In the days pre cyber it would have been a lot worse as people just had phone contact and that was limited.

There has to be an answer out there some where, but for the moment I can.t find anything other than one I have myself. But is it worth our society returning to its old values of extended family and looking out for neighbours? maybe ? Tomorrow  or rather later today I get to taste the sunlight and fresh air for a while. But my thoughts will linger on those less lucky than, who can but look out the window watching the colours of day fade into night and then back again.