See who I am

Now I guess this blog entry is going to divide what audience I have, but to be truthful I am beyond giving a dam. As a wise person once said I am old enough to do what I what and young enough to enjoy it. So I am going to tackle the elephant in the world

 sexuality.

yep that one. The one that many would love to file into a couple of tidy little boxes and hide it away. Sorry I am not so Victorian (on other matters I maybe). There has been a long overdue sexual revolution with trans gender and gay finally accepted into mainstream. Like racism and standard sexism it took its sweet arse time getting there, but finally we are learning to accept things aren't so black and white. Life is meant to be colourful and this stark barriers we have created are long overdue an appointment with a wrecking ball. Especially as they are standards proved by nature to occur not just in humans but all animal species, so don't even start with the "it's a carnal sin" bit. I have found nothing in any religion that persecutes animals for being fay,  so why apply it to man or woman.

What I really am glad to see and would happily promote is the title fluid sexuality. The sooner they put that on some statistic tick box I will be ticking that. Why, you may ask, especially as superficial am typical WASP,  but that's just my point, it's superficial.  I may be married etc, but it doesn't define my soul status, or limit my horizons.  I don't believe I am capable to define my love by gender let alone person, and maybe I have done myself more damage by marrying, as I have encased myself. Fluid sexuality in its rawest state means you love the soul, not the physical she'll,  and isn't that what we are meant to do. As consenting adults we should stop the selfie culture of focusing on the shell and dig a little deeper into what sex is?

Before I get a lot of wise comments about the biology of sex reread what I have just said. I am talking about the inner conception between souls. The ability  to be so intense with another you are one the same wave length, you don't need vocal language, or you can sense their pain miles away. That is real sex, sod the physical that's just the carnal pleasure and not the whole package. In fact the bodily action of inter course is so boring at times it becomes irrelevant.  Sure it can be mind blowing when it reaches near perfection, but in reality how many times can you really say you have achieved that state of carnal bliss. The chances of reaching such euphoria are just as can be as easily achieved on a deeper spiritual level, and often a greater high.

By now I bet a few of my friends are bracing themselves for something scary if they are reading this, no I am not coming out as gay, again I wouldn't want to limit myself. Not that I feel that's wrong, if you are 100% straight or gay then I applaud you too, I just can no longer say I am 100% anything. That's  my point, I really wonder how many people really are?

The reason I choose to start writing this has been brewing on my mind.  Yes I follow a lot of performers and actors, and more and more I see their sexuality is an open mine field of free comments, criticism and trolling, and why? Are we that needy we have to label people. So many people are being judged by what others think they are or should be, when perhaps they are actually being more honest than the majority of society, may I draw your attention to Amber Heard, James Franco and Lily Rose Depp as examples. They have all addressed the matter head on fed up with the gossip. Although they may not have given an answer that meets the approval of the masses, they have given an answer that is their truth. An answer that they shouldn't need to give to be honest, as it's no ones dam business if we were to get real for a moment.

The truth as I see it is, and this from my limited performance experience, is that most performers, artists entertainers and similar, are actually more in tune with their own inner self or inner desire (ID), than the mainstream person, it's how a realistic performance is achieved. By this attachment and awareness of the ID,  they are more relaxed in how they content with another being. Thus probably making them more truthful to themselves. How ever by default it makes them more open to being labelled or at least societies need to label.

So if there is one thing I ask you to be it's more open minded to the whole situation. Sexuality is a personal thing, that is so complex it can't be given justice in a label. Personally I have to live with the sword I through myself on, by trying to conform, which perhaps was my biggest mistake. I was too scared of being labelled by default, I rushed into gaining a different label and it has become my handcuffs. If I was ten years younger and a whole lot stronger I would have and should have said, I am neither straight nor gay but sexually fluid and proud of it.