Who the hell am I? and how do I write

I have not  become totally narcissistic, in fact the total opposite.  I hate my picture taken. But actually trying to write anything constructive involves surprisingly a lot of reading. Fortunately that is something I do enjoy immensely, and by doing so I have stumbled across an artist who for what of a better word intrigues me. I am not going to name drop who the person is or give any other clues, but say it is one statement they made that caused this post. A comment about not trusting anyone who doesn't show their face on social media when posting.

Now me being me, has to take this one step further. It's just who I am, get over it, I thought I would give you a brief insight into how I look and what really happens when I try to put my voice forward. Below are a few scattered images of me mid thought or writing, the physical process and a token shot of some of the obstacles I have when writing. Trust me they're obstacles at 2am when I am trying to put the world rights and they want to steal my corn chips.

I am English despite some of my sayings, taste and opinions, I blame having an American husband for that. Yet I run on international time especially when posting, mainly because I let ideas fester before I put the final result down. Especially if it is news based, I try to get multiple countries opinions before I say anything. This is taken to the extreme by the fact I sleep with a news channel on the TV. Not a particularly healthy habit I know, but it works for me.

How I would advise anyone who embarks on any  creative activity is fairly simple. Always have a pen and paper with you. You never know when a thought, picture or phrase will inspire you. I never thought I was organised but I never leave home without these bits, then I can always expand on things that affect me when I get home. I  do the same at home nearly always jotting notes down and going back to them when I have the time to do it justice. Fortunately on this day and age most phones have camera's on, as sometimes a picture is all you need to inspire a thought and my phone is littered with random shots because of this.

I would love to say I am a highly structured human being, but much as I hate to admit it I am far from it. Which is probably why I have never finished anything longer that a full book outline. My length of concentration is of measured by the noise in the house and amount of coffee and cigarettes available. Which even by my own admission is pretty bad. But it works for me, and my old writing tutor did say you have to find what works for you.  By the same breath I can't work in total silence quite often as not both the TV and my mp3 player are going at the same time as I am writing. Subconsciously it helps me focus on what I am actually writing about. It's how I I got through years of university. But that's just me , other people need total silence and can't stand how I work.

Anyway those are my top tips on working, the why should be apparent in what I write about. The resonance is a question I still seek the answer to, and drives my ambition. If I am not writing, reading, performing or something I realise I am no longer me. A trait I have in the past try to suppress and with almost tragic outcomes as I nearly lost my mind. So I won't be doing that again any time soon. Although I have to admit there are times writing a blog takes a back seat to another project I am working on as I only have one set of hands.

Anyway back to my new found inspiration. Some one out there had a drive that has made me look close and hard at myself. Am I doing enough? Could I do more? And should I push myself. You can guess what the answers to those questions and while I accept I will never have their success or audience,  I found in seeing others do it I can free myself to be me.  If people like it so be it, if not not harm. But for every page you get to read there is ten times of unseen material in one medium or another unseen. That raises many issues with me, should I release the other work, or even push to get my work really out there? That's a process I am trying to resolve this year. Whether to try and get some of my unseen work into the mass market.

For me the Internet is as much a curse as a blessing, anyone can write or compose in their bed room, and anyone else can find it. But is thus helping or hindering a person's ability to get true reactions to their own ability? I don't know,  but I am going to try and find out. For now have a laugh at the pictures below, it may be the only time you get to put a face to the voice.