Putting it in to perspective

Well I have managed it round the doctors and then the benefits agency and I was going to start off on one about it all. Then I turned the news on and suddenly my pain of getting through the day was kicked to the kerb. Another pointless shooting in America where at least 3 innocent people have been robbed of their lives. Then I  hear that in Norway the killer in that massacre has got 21 years, less than a year for each person he killed. Those two bits of news put me back in my place.

I have spent the day hobbling around on crutches, complaining why me, when I want to go faster or do more, and yes basically being thoroughly frustrated and in constant pain. At one point I was in tears from it all, and the benefits officer actually suggested I stop trying to get work and concentrate on getting stable. So its been a very emotional day. But the self pity party soon got stamped on when I saw that news and thought I actually have no right to be this morose. Over the last 10 years we have lost more people in the UK and America to gun attacks and plain terrorism that ever, and I doubt anyone, doesn't know someone affected one way or another, with it be a victim directly or a friend of a friend, or perhaps a member of the armed forces sent to protect us. As I have family all around the world from the States with my husbands family to Israel and New Zealand on my side, so we have seen the affects indirectly on more than one account. To add to that all the recent natural disasters we have had, is no wonder the amount of people suffering from stress has greatly increased in the last 5 years . How many of us have sat up through the night waiting for news of a friend or relative during one of the last tsunamis or earth quakes. I know I have.

To be honest I don't know whether this modern world of cyber has made it easier or harder. Because we are getting the news almost instantly from all over the world, we ant the answer that our beloveds are OK at the same speed, which more than often is not physically possible as the phone or Internet lines are down. This then increases the stress of any situation, sure its made the world a smaller place and it has made it easier to share news and make new friends all around the world. To be perfectly honest through the last few years I would be lost with out my cyber friends and the ease of the way I can keep in touch with life long friends and family. But there are days I have to walk away and turn it off, as I find I can get stressed over things that I can do little about. Then again to every minus there is a plus and the plus is I can help and cheer up others and they do the same for me/

Any way now I have got my perspective back in check and had a cheery tweet from @vanessariddle (check her out she is awesome) I can go back to my day without being so much poor me and report more factually. It start with a fraught trip , only because moving husband fast is as rare as devils tears. Anyway hubby insisted in accompanying me into the doctors room, mainly because he was scared i would do myself some damage if I went alone, don't ask, i don't understand how either. My doctor is a lovely young man who has a zest for life and the positive it is contagious, and because of this I have to see him monthly for my sick certification. His reasoning, and I understand his point, is to write one for 3 months can be demoralising for the patient as it is saying there is no real chance of improvement for that length of time. So for the next 4 weeks I am not able to work and by then pain clinic have got hold of me so we will know more facts. Till then my medication is not to be increased any further for pain relief so till the 17th its a case of grit and bare it. I have also had my eczema re assessed and that is not responding to the medication but increasing from the stress, honestly I now cant count the amount of blisters i have on my hands, which reminds me I need to change my nail polish design to distract from it. So I am now on a higher steroid cream and see if that works in the next few days if not its another phone call appointment and try something else. On the plus my summer cold is getting the hint to get lost its just a minor cough and sniffle now which is good. I have till next Thursday to toughen up for the paraolympics, which I have no intention of missing. Although when we bought the tickets I was meant to be going as mums carer not her looking after me, but either way we will both enjoy it. Anyway I am getting side tracked, after the doctors its was away to the benefits agency, who to be honest really weren't that bad, in fact they are also playing the waiting game to see what pain clinic have to say about it all. In the mean time I have a mountain of paperwork to fill in for DLA a benefit that will hopefully give me some money to enable me to get out and about as it will pay for the additional fuel of driving me to places I used to walk to. This along with the benefit I already get will guarantee that in the not to distant future I will be sent for that independent medical I am dreading. But like I said today's a day of getting my perspective in check and in the greater scheme of things is a medical the end of the world, I know I don't like discussing it all with some stranger and I certainly have issues about being prodded and poked by one, but if it leads to something more beneficial and may be even a way to get back to work then so be it.

Living with conditions like CRPS are hard and frustrating for not just the sufferer but all those around than, but I would sooner live with these, that have what has happen to other innocent victims today. Perspective is a wonderful thing at times, when you remember to check it.