Happy Halloween

So it's pumpkin night again, and I am hobbling against time.I need to make sure that the porch is decorated and sign made to point out where the candy is so we aren't bothered all evening by knocks at the door.


It is not because we are anti Halloween or anything,but it winds the dogs up and then the cats escape. Which is a major hassle as there are also fire works at some Halloween party's which scare the life out of the animals. So we have a system of decorating the porch and filling a bowl with wrapped treats so that the children still get a treat for their efforts. I would love to see the decorated children and share their party spirit, but practically that is impossible.

Halloween when I was a child was far more conservative and less candy orientated. In someways I miss that as we learnt about the really history of the day, but in other ways it is more fun for young and old alike. I would love to run around dressed as something weird with a party of children all on a sugar high. Some times in this day and age we need the chance to be something we are not for an evening. I always think back to an early Buffy episode, where they cover this whole point. Every one becomes something they aren't and the repercussions. But everyone deserves the night to try it out. Over the years I have been various witch's, a black cat a couple of times, but the best one was the fallen angel at a church Halloween party. Sure it cause chaos for days after as at one point I was on the church wall rallying the invited children into the party and some locals took offence. But it was a simple costume that I had a lot of fun with. Although why my outfit caused more offence than the scout leader as a devil I will never know, but hey that's the world we live in. I think it was more important to let the children have a fun evening in a safe environment than run around unsupervised.

Besides that evening those children also found out about the balance to Halloween being All saints day the next day. It was odd actually how many young people no longer know Halloween as All Souls day and it is the day all lost spirits get a night on earth, and that the following night All Saints day is when the champion spirits restore the balance. It is all fundamentally a Christian holiday, yet so many Christians now repel it through their own lack of knowledge.

Anyway I am not going to ruin what is basically now a fun day for children with way too much sugar, and my pumpkin isn't going to decorate itself. So Happy Halloween one and all.

Blood Sugar Sex Magik

No this isn't some perverted blog or medical term, rather the title of one of my hidden weakness. I have always had a soft spot for The red hot chilli peppers and this was the album that I first bought of theirs. That said it wasn't the last CD I bought of theirs or the last time I bought that one.

In fact if I had to list the most stolen Cd's out of my collect this is my top ten

Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Sergent Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band

Soundtrack to Batman Returns

The Beatles White Album

Britney Spears My Prerogative

Duets Ozzy Osbourne

The best of the Prodigy

The Darkened Theatre best of Danny Elfman

The best of the Rolling Stones

Magical Mystery Tour


The top 4 have been stolen more times than I had flatmates. Now this says one of 3 things, 1) the price of Cd's is too high 2) I can't trust my friends and 3) I have such weird music tastes that I have opened other peoples ears. What ever I have to admit I am getting sick of replacing my CD collection on a a bi annual rotation. I hasten to add I have only listed those that have been replaced more than 3 times, through no fault of my own. Although I am curious who lifted Mozart's requiem 8 years back as the recording was a semi tone flat and not worth the disc it was stamped on.

But that's not what the blog is about. More how music can hold such strong memories. Chapters in your life are often documented by the music you were into at that time. Between the age of 18 and 30 my choice in music was so elected I can almost name events and months based on a single or album. Even now big events are symbolised by what I was listening to. Take for instance the summer I helped build the infamous lego house whilst recovering from swine flu, I will always remember that by the song Face to Face by Souxsie and the Banshees. It was an old track but I had it on my mp3 player. Top Gear live 2011 was all the lights by Kanye West as it was used in the show.

It isn't a matter of what came out new at these points more than what was I listening to. If ever I want to remind myself of these happy times then I just dig out these songs. In the same way less happy events have their song Perfect Day will always remind me of Grandads funeral. But even that has bitter sweet memories with that as it was a beautiful winters day with a shake of snow on the ground.

Music is probably the strongest use of sense to recall memories, and should be treasured. In the meantime I am back to my Red Hot Chilli Peppers moment.

The rescults of a scan

I wrote this entry yesterday but events happened and it seemed churlish for me to post it, Today as the dust settles and we can beginning to rebuild I feel it is more appropriate to post.


So finally today I got the out come of my wonderful MRI. For days I have been screwed up with worry of what this wonderful technology would find wrong with me. Not once but several times over I feared the worse and mentally made plans.

Well come 10am this morning I found out and even saw the pretty pictures of my insides. For some one who is usually squeamish, I managed to take a constructive view on the slice pictures of my lumbar regions. Once I received biology 101 from my patient consultant he was able to confirm a few things.

Unfortunately I come from a family where curvature of the spine has been hereditary, we always suspected I would be the 4th or 5th generation to have it but it was never noticeable or mentioned by the medical profession. However the scan showed it clear as day but not the whole spine fortunately. I have the s bend in my lower spine. I also have wear and tear on the spinal discs beyond my years but not of great concern. It just reflects the that I will always push myself. So the decision is no surgical answer would be beneficial.

However my muscles connected to my lower back are a mess to put it nicely. There are clear signs of muscles being torn, probably from the car incident a year ago. They have healed incorrectly so the cure is a mixture of heavy duty physiotherapy and to combat the CRPS an increase in pain relief. I am now on a form of pain patch which is like a nicotine patch but with pain killer.

Needless to say I all but cheered this was the best outcome I could wish for. My consultant didn't see it this way and was adamant he would repeat the fact that this out come was more painful than he could explain. But he had to admit that I would be able in time to go back to horse riding and even do the stunt driving course I wanted to do last year. That said I am heading into the void on unknown agony, physiotherapy isn't the most pleasant of treatments, but I would take it over the constraints of operations. To me endless physio is a cleaner option, no week of bed rest or risk of infection.

So I am happy with the results and at least can see a way forward, granted a snail may over take me in the process, but there is a future and that will do me.

Thoughts and Prayers

Was going to blog about my scan results then I saw the news. I can't be so self centred today, or even frivolous and talk make up.

In fact this blog is going to be short and sweet as I am, like thousands I expect about to watch in terror the storm of the century hit the USA. I can't do any thing other pray that they get every one out of the affected area, and I mean everyone man, woman ,child and even animals. This is playing out like some disaster movie but I can't hit the pause button.

Being married to an American was a 18 wheeler driver I am getting a running commentary of the places affected and how he has driven various roads that look more like rivers already. If the reports are to be believed at least one shark is in the streets of New Jersey.

I won't jam up the Internet today with chitchat, but ask you spare a thought for those suffering from the effects of extreme weather. May you be kept safe.

Multicoloured hair

No I haven't had an accident with the hair dye, well not this time. But I am having an issue with the colour of my hair, or rather the fact it doesn't know what colour it is!

I have had this problem all my life to varying degrees, born with jet black hair, by the time I was 3 it was ginger, by 5 blonde and by 13 light brown. I mean naturally it had changed that much no help required. By the time I was 18 I was fed up with its ever changing spectrum I found hair dye and for the next 5 years had red added to pick up its natural colour. Then by 30 I discovered I did blonde very well. After that  little adventure I left it to nature where it promptly went to a dark brown. Then I got pay back for my illnesses and started to grey on my temples and top so I found a mid brown dye and swore by it about 3/4 times a year.

Well over the last year I have found it harder and hard to dye and the last time I did in February I should have smelt a rat as the colour I choose came up lighter than I thought it would. But even my hair dresser said it was because have both copper and red natural highlights in my natural colour. But since then I have been unable to perform the physical gymnastics required when it comes to dye your hair yourself so it has been left to return to it's natural colour what ever that is mixed with grey. So you can imagine my surprise when I realise that my hair is not only in desperate need of a strong hair cut, but also considerably lighter than it has been for years. I don't mean lighter as in silver fox lighter, I mean I am almost back to the strawberry blonde of my youth and the dark dead like bits are the grey.

So now I have to face the fact that if I use the colour dyes I have in bathroom I would be not evening out the colour and the grey but considerably darkening my hair. I need to return to hair dye selection and find something in the darker blonde colour / auburn rather mid to dark brown. It would be like taking someone like Georgia May Jagger before she found bleach and making her into Angelina Jolie. Guess turning 40 has one blessing I am back to being a dishwater blonde, as long as I don't turn full ginger again I can live with that. But I am really confused as to why my hair just won't settle on a base colour.

I know most people would die to have hair colour that was as indecisive as mine, but it does make for complex wardrobe requirements as red heads have to choice colours wisely. But in answer to the age old question do blonde's have more fun? I'll get back to you after Christmas on that one.

Happiness, Hilton and Petrol Fumes

I m never happier than when I am up to my neck in all things car related.  So Top Gear Live is an annual pilgrimage for me. When it is at at London it is a daily commute, but when at the NEC it is a relocation to the Hilton Metropole.

Now I am no brand snob, but to me the Hilton is the best. It has become a home from home, the staff friendly the rooms comfortable and the whole lay out is just perfect for the NEC. A few minute walk door to door, although it felt like a mile on sticks, but still do able. Normally we choose to stay in an executive room, but thisyear we had a standard de luxe twin room, as it was a birthday treat. To be honest the room was little different from the ex room so it was still more than comfortable, and the the service was still to the high standards expected. In the Hilton is treated as if they are some one whether they be world famous or Joe Blogs. I was in the lounge bar this morning with mum having pre journey coffee two sofas down from us was Paul Hollywood from the Great British Bake off and his family, yet the service we all received was the same high standard.

There is another side to the Hilton, it dark side, the nightlife, it is well a little mad. I am not going to tell you all tales of past stays there, what happens in Birmingham stays in Birmingham. But needless to say we come home to sleep after stay there. Sure the drinks and food come at hotel prices and their cocktail menu is  limited, but after a few drinks you forget about that and get on with what is happening in the bar that night. It could involve drivers stories, stuffed penguins or people dressed as Arabian knights. I have seen it all.

But the Hilton is the the by product of why I drove up and done the M40 this weekend. It was Top Gear Live weekend. That means lungs full of car fumes, ears blasted with noise and in my case throat sore from yelling at the presenters as they entertain us with their latest crazy ideas. My favourites are all ways the drifting and stunt work, and over the years got to know various drivers in those fields. It all helps to make the weekend more special. That and the company of great friends with the same interests. One of these friends went out of her way to make the weekend special insisting on arming me with a scooters so I could get round the whole day with a greater element of freedom, which in itself enabled me to get to seating in an area designated for my needs alongside her and mum. She is also the friend who is responsible for my hangover this morning, but the less said out that the better lol.

The whole show is always a laugh and worth seeing, at least once. My camera normally ends up over heating and this year was no different, there are spectacles and some time mishaps of comic elements,stunts and pure comedy. It is like an uncensored version of the show with a lot more. For any one who enjoys the show it is a must if you only make it once, but make sure you take ear plugs something will always go bang whether it is meant to or not.

There is always a display of the top ten cars you would want in a garage. This year I was torn between the Porsche, the Morgan and the Aston. So nothing cheap there.

For a car show this year there were a lot of bikes, from a world record attempt to flying across the arena as flaming pumpkins! I did say this was Top Gear. There was side car polo and a demonstration on centrifugal force involving car crashes, well remember it is Top Gear. On the track there was the standard car in a a reasonably priced car to half car racing, a Stig grudge match to hot hatches. There was something for everyone.


In my household there is a presenter for each of our tastes, and all things Top Gear is a family matter. So this event is taken seriously every year. It is a sacred event, which is relished from start to finish. The main difference from my lack of time there this years is apart from lack of photos (200 instead of 2000), I didn't find enough time and energy to see all the exhibits, and missed out on catching up with everyone. But considering my lack of mobility and strength I couldn't have done much more if I was there for another day, except maybe another 200+ photos.

My scooter was a godsend for me, if a little dangerous for those who weren't paying attention. It became a a case of they ran everywhere so I ran them over, and who ever made fully geared scooters needs a knighthood, I even had a speed setting, although the horn needed much improvement I could barely hear it, let alone any one else. May I suggest something more becoming a fog horn would be more useful over that noise. But that was the only bug bear I really had, except for the lack of disability awareness of a certain sandwich bar, but that's for another blog.


For those who can't tell, I am now a very happy little bunny, if a little tired. I have seen way to much stupidity on motorways in the last two days, but on the stage I saw pure genius. Can't wait till next year so praying I win the lottery, a trip to Durban to see it again sounds perfect to me.

Freebie Yipee

I do like my freebies, and scout out the ones that serve me well. This month I only bought one magazine apart from my Top Gear one. That was Marie Claire, for the simple reason it was giving away my favourite L'Occitane hand cream.

Now I usually favour Shea butter or almond hand cream, but this month I ended up with date and I have to admit it is lovely, not sickly scented like I feared it would be. So I am very pleased with this purchase and as the magazine was less than £4 and the cream is worth more than £8 it is a win win situation. Especially as it also gave me a free sample of the new dove hair mask and  £10 discount at Molten Brown.

I am not one to normally brag about freebies, but in this current financial climate a girl has to make her money stretch that bit further. Like in the next few weeks I will be buying the new glamour magazine for £2 and get my free Nails Inc polish worth £11, heck even if your bought the magazine four times over to get each of the offered free colours you still would be £3 better off than buying 1 polish.

As I don't have money to burn this is my way to score, as I get my months reading material and re stock my supplies. I just wish one magazine would do a freebie of L'Occitane's divine cream. very few hand or face creams absorb into my skin without leaving a tacky feel to them but for some reason L'Occitane have managed it on both accounts.

Just because I am not of the greatest health, doesn't mean I don't deserve to treat myself to a little girly pampering and give my skin the nourishment it deserves. If anything it need moisturising more than ever as the medication robs it of its glow and I am more prone to spot out breaks like a teenager. So yes I am going to take advantage of these offers, I hope you do too.

Preparing to enjoy burnt rubber

OK I am on the count down in hours till Top Gear Live. Most things are packed and I  am actually in bed about to get some sleep as we are off in the early hours.

So far we have had two micro panics. Last night mum found her best black court shoes had met Rosie and lost so there was me frantically on the "net" trying to find a replacement pair and praying for once next day delivery worked. Fortunately it did and by 11 am today shoes had arrived and were promptly pack, I breathed a deep sigh of relief and headed off to the doctors for an emergency prescription as the unknown blistering on my hands is back. The drive to the doctors was a sluggish one and I put it down to the fact the car hadn't been driven for a day or two. Until I pulled out the doctors and received  a tap on the window, informing me my front tyre was literally deflating whilst we watched. I crawled said tyre and the rest of the car to the nearest petrol station to do a tyre check and sure enough something was wrong the pressure reading was a 1/3 of what it should be. I checked all the other tyres and did the refill on them I was going to send hubby to do later this evening. Then I found it ! a sodden nail in my nearly new tyre. Just what I didn't need today. A quick phone call to my normal mechanic informed me he was booked to the tilt today, however he did point me in the direction of  a friend who runs as tyre centre and would be able to fit me in. A fraught hour later and my car is back on the road with four functional tyres. Still better that was found out now rather than 5am on the M25 tomorrow.

Then we ventured into Asda to replace the keyboard for my PC i blew up yesterday (don't ask) and get my prescription, whilst I played hunt the heat patches so I can drive in comfort.  That was easy enough £50 the poorer we went to leave Asda when I suddenly realise I have left the prescription still at the chemist part of the shop. Back I went to get that.

Trust me this isn't the calm quiet day I was planning before the craziness of tomorrow, and still mum isn't full packed. So I am off to bed with strict instructions for husband to fill the oil and water in the car when he returns from wort. Not because I can't do it myself, but to save my back from further work as tomorrow is going to be hard going on it.

It will all be worth it I am so ready to be at the Top Gear madness, like I have said I am normally there for the full 5 days, so I am trying to cram all that chaos and fun into 36 hours. Wish me luck please, a full report will follow.

My top picks of Kandee new season

Having poured cold water over myself and recovered from the display of new season Kandee and can rationally put my top five together. I will walk you through them and see what you think

I am going to start with the Verde pump. an unusual choice for me not because of the style, but the colour. Green and I have a love hate relationship, yet these are screaming buy me. There is something of the 60s sex kitten about them and I can see so many uses to them. I love the sparkle all the way down the heel and the fact it is a simple clean cut style. The attention is drawn to the colour which is a deep winter green. I can see it worn with either a matching colour dress or against the lush velvet black dresses which are around these seasons. They would elongate any leg and make that perfectly simple yet classic statement to any outfit.

Next up is the Aniseed pump, it is the design opposite to the Verde. These are an aggressively fierce statement shoe. The colour is a muted maroon but the spikes all over the shoe give them a "don't mess with me" attitude. They would really liven up the most boring of outfits and and a bold statement without screaming with a loud colour. It is the fact the spike have been done with the party gold that brings the shoes to life. The skinnier high heel is balances out by the muted maroon platform, giving even us shorter people some height without breaking our ankles in the process.

My next choice is the Glace pump. This is a shoe that just symbolises the out and out glamour of the festive season.  If the late 80's soap like Dynasty was sill running this shoe would more than likely be on the foot of one of the stars and not seem out of place. It screams opulence and glamour with the cherry red and molten gold complimenting each other and creating the illusion that means you can wear the platform without it being instantly noticed. I would love to wear these at any party through the winter months as the colour is so lively and vibrant, a joy in these darker nights.




Next up is Verde's sister boot After 8, these would make a pleasant change to my endless collection of black boots. They are high enough to create a statement, but suitable to be worn with work trousers or even jeans. The all over sparkle attracts the magpie in me with out being over loud. These are almost a day to day boot that can worn any time, so plenty of chances to get value per wear. They look well balanced and the all over covering means no cold toe syndrome.







My final choice has to be Dip Dab, they stole my heart on first viewing. With their liquorice black colour and then the heel in lemon yellow, they are rebellious yet fun. Even the spikes on them just add to their charm. The non platform sole with the classic cut makes me think its 60's chic mixed with 70's punk. I can't imagine wearing them with out a grin on your face, the standard black pump bites back. Having the spikes in the same colour as the shoe means they don't distract from the flash of colour on the heel, yet means the wearing can rebel even at work. Its like the shoe reflects the candy they are named after the sweetness of the the lolly pop with the sudden sharpness of the sherbet.

Well these are my choices I am sure you will all have your own personally favourites as there are plenty more to choice from. Points to remember when you are trying logic yourself into buying your first or one of a plentiful collection of Kandee shoes are, they are all hand made and that these hand made shoes have leather crafted soles. In my eyes that along with the refreshing styles and comfort of these heels makes them worth their price. Like I said before I am looking at saving up for one pair from each collection as I believe these are built to last.

New season Kandee's

The day has come Kandee's new season is slowly being released today, and I for one am slowly dissolving into a molten heap with every shot.

So far only two have been released and my heart is screaming yes at every shot. The first one is a black court shoe with some bite. The Dip Dap pumps are certainly a pair of shoes that carry attitude. I love them as they have a bit of rebel in them and they would liven up any outfit. Not only do they have a flash of colour on the heel, they have the spikes on the shoe. Personally I would love to wear these in an office to liven up any suit outfit. and know that they would see me on to the evening drinks after. They would also liven up my faithful velvet LBD as they bring just enough edge that I would be comfortable and true to myself. The name Dip Dab is great it brings home childhood memories of a candy with a kick, just perfect for the shoe.

The second release is the sister boot Dippa. Now these are more suited to those who prefer boots to heels but want the same edge. They have a platform sole to increase the height, and for some reason this increases the edgy feel of the style. What is clear with these releases is this season is not for the faint hearted. These are strong designs that will stand out against the normal soft winter releases.

I can't wait to see the other designs in this collection as I have a feeling from the sneaky peeks we are in for a pleasant surprise this season. All I can say is watch the site for the next release and see what happens. Kandee's never disappoint.

Stocking fillers from nails inc

I made a big mistake, well that's what Santa will say when he sees my wish list. I kind of fell on the autumn/winter collection of Nails Inc and lets just say I am suffering withdrawal symptoms,. Here is my list see what you think.

First of all there is the Stratford mirror metallic. Now anyone who knows my taste in nail  polish will tell you I tend to take fashion trends and twist them to suit me. I love metallic colours but for some reason silver colours don't suit my hands, so this rose gold one is going to go down as a definite want. Slightly warmer than standard gold and with the mirror reflective qualities, it should do wonders in making my nails look everything they aren't. £11 is a standard price for this make and I can imagine that there will be a lot of demand for this colour over the winter party season. Its a quirky take on a party favourite colour, and I am sure there will be high demand for this colour in many Christmas stockings


My next favourite is the Bling it on rocks gift set. It is £20 which is reasonable when you consider it contains a black taxi nail colour, two glitter pots, Kensington caviar top coat and a dusting brush.  It is a nice set for anyone like me who likes the bold black look with a twist. You could use the polish and top coat on their own for more normal times, or get brave and use the dusting glitter for more up beat times. Also you could use the glitter with other dark polishes. For the more nervous nail artists like myself this is a good way in. There are two other Bling it on sets at the same price one including hologram, and I am sure many people would love these sets just to try out something new over the winter months without a large out lay.

My final choice I think only Santa can magic up as it is already sold out and I can see why. It is the Autumn winter collection and it is just perfect. Dark purples, navy's and greens are all my taste. 6 polishes in one set is my idea of heaven. The idea of popping a taupe in the mix is original, but quite clever as it gives this dark set a lift, and balances out the tomato red days.. Its just a shame it is already out of stock and I hope that Nails Inc get it restocked soon as I can image this will is a big hit due to mixture of colours. It is almost a fail safe for any nervous purchasers, as it made up of forest green, forest plume, glitter navy, pearl,taupe and red. It covers all bases over the season, from quiet days in the office, to the dreaded office party right through to the festive celebrations.

So there are my choices for the season and for Santa to choose from. Yes they are varied from the one to the larger gift set, but a girl has to keep her options open. It is nice to see Nails Inc have kept one trend, yet hung on to the classic so a person can mix and match. I do think the Bling it on set are a little gem that gives you plenty of choice thus making it very good value, but and I sure any of these three would make a nice surprise.  Like I said it is all personal taste, but this is mine I hope you enjoy.

What to pack

Since when has going away for 36 hours turned into a military operation? Well it has here, the trip to Top Gear Live has turned into utter chaos packing wise purely due to the formidable weather report. The problem being early start i.e 5am in cold British weather, and then going straight into the NEC which is anything but cold. Then of course there is the matter of evening wear, and journey home wear for the next day.

This isn't an isolated problem, but one that faces every woman I know and some of the men. Trying to pack even for a day out in Britain means having the right clothing for all four seasons in a day. I kid you not, an trip to Goodwood earlier in the year turned into a nightmare and resulted in husband carrying a pink antler holdall round all day. In it was everything from a hoodie top and a kaftan and sunscreen. What was worse was all of it got used and we went from a damp morning to me being sun burnt in the afternoon. Another trip to FMX biking started in glorious sun shine and by mid afternoon it was a mud bath with torrential rain.

How is a girl suppose to survive with some form of dignity, without dragging half a wardrobe around behind her? To be truthful I am lost, I have sworn by my faithful leather jacket in cold and wet weather but that isn't always practical, especially if like this weekend I am indoors a lot So I have invested in a varsity jacket courtesy of husband catalogue, its fleece lined and big enough a hoodie can fit underneath. Not very lady like but very practical for driving and car events. I wasn't planning to but I think it is a case of jeans to dig me out of this hole. Personally I would have preferred my combats due to the pockets, but the warmth factor is a higher necessity and then the ever faithful converse. So it is a return to the tomboy purely due to the elements.

Then there is the makeup debate. My skin is trashed thanks to a long time spent in doors and high medication so just slapping on some lipstick and eye liner doesn't work. I have to go full face or nothing and let not let get me started on nail polish, do I attempt to do a good job before the day or leave it and do it as rush between day and evening. Oh being a girl isn't easy and packing has to be the worse job in the world.

Travel light I am told, er yea right, one bag each for clothes shoes and make up should be light enough... I hope.

It's days like these

You know when you have a period in your life that is totally grey or even black. When nothing you do, say or even think is ever right, or when pain plagues your every breath. Well as you can guess I have been living in that since early September, not even my birthday was a highlight. But suddenly out of now where something or things can happen to lift you right out of these moods.Well today has been one of those days.

It didn't start that well, being woken up by husband yelling blue murder for two hours at the benefits agency who still haven't sorted their clerical error which has left us with out his money for the last two weeks. He was constantly waking me up yelling questions and then relaying them. I wouldn't mind but when I wake I have to have a coffee and my medication or I end up in agonising pain for a large part of the day. Did he issue me the required coffee. Did he heck! So by the time he finally went out as the temp agency had actually decided for once they had work for him, I was in a foul temper and screaming in pain. The concept of actually being able to hobble to the kitchen was a distant memory as I was contorted in such pain, mum reversed out the room and straight into the kitchen to find the coffee.

Once fuelled with coffee and tablets I finally morphed back to a normal human being, still sore from the delay of medication but no where near as bad. Then the post man arrived and the attack of the horgi commenced. Oreo still dislikes the man as much as the postman dislikes Oreo so we have to shove Oreo and his partner in crime in my room before we open the door. So I am surrounded by dogs going loopy whilst mum took delivery of the contents of our postal delivery. Then mum attempted to come back into my room excitedly only to find the dogs in their excitement had smashed into my sticks successfully locking me in and mum out. After doing an impression of an overweight slug I finally moved said sticks and she came in bearing a box for me. both she and I knew I hadn't been on one of my shopping splurges so we were anxious to see what this was. As I battled into the wrapping she got called away to sort out a war of the tabbies. What she was subjected to was squealing of legendary level, in the box was a pair of Kandee shoes from a very generous friend as a belated birthday present. Despite the pain from the morning I tried them on, they fitted like a dream, and to every ones surprise I could walk in the easier than walking bare foot. I managed it to the stairs minus sticks and was standing there as mum came down stairs. Her face said it all and even with my sticks the pain was eased from my back. To me the day couldn't get better I was and am over joyed and to a degree over whelmed by the kindness of this gift.

Whilst trying to contact said friend to pass on my thanks and appreciation for such a great gift, I took little notice to the endless tweets coming onto my phone. I am a cyber junkie so my phone is constantly buzzing to remind me on the messages are there. Finally once shoes were back in box and I remembered to text another friend happy birthday did I check my messages. I have read one direct message and quickly switched over to the PC to confirm what I thought I had read. I had actually won a twitter competition. I enter so many competitions just to kill boredom that I had to back track to work out which competition it was. Then an email enlightened me I had won a months worth of a certain product from the nescafe range. As a self admitted caffeine junkie that was a perfect prize as well as a very useful one, as it means when left home alone I can be left with a mug, spoon and a few of these sticks that contain the coffee. sugar and whitener in one.

So by lunch time I was and still am a very happy bunny, suddenly the pain of the day seemed more than bearable. I am not saying everything has gone my way and I am still snarling at the cost of hiring a mobility scooter at the NEC, which works out at £15 for a day. But I can't let in dampen my day, in fact it didn't even anger me that much, although I do still claim its a money making scheme on the less able. Despite that I am still bouncing as much as is physically possible and very happy. It isn't the financial value of these items as much as the thoughtfulness as one and the fact I can actually win in the other. Like I said I use competitions to kill boredom and winning is a big bonus.

This happening today has been especially good as it now puts me in a very positive frame of mind, I am now in the right state of mind for Top Gear Live on Saturday and the thought of scan results on Monday can be forgotten till Sunday night now. Days like these put every thing else in a happier light.

I am now a skinny bitch

Another virginity is officially lost, a belated unexpected birthday present arrived today. My first ever pair of Kandee shoes, Rotella from the skinny bitch range and once on my feet I can say I LOVE THEM.

By love I mean I have fallen for them look, feel everything. They are comfortable to wear, even at the height of them which is higher than my normal choice. In fact my physio is right they help the pain in my back rather than create more. From the moment I put them on they fitted, and I immediately stood straighter. I am officially converted to this brand. Prior to today I admired their design and style, now it a whole different world of love.

There is a couple of reasons I really wanted to promote Kandees, they are fairly new on the market, designed by a 22 year old man. For a designer so young he has capture a modern style that is wearable and realistically priced. But their is something classic about them, the pair I now own has a 60's feel to them which has proven to be dateless, thus like the the little black dress a stable in every woman's wardrobe..

To be honest I thought my days of wearing heels of such height was long gone, but the balance of the shoe made it possible for me to walk with my crutches and surprisingly with out them for short spaces. That in itself was an unexpected surprise and has caused me to be squealing all morning with joy. It may sound shallow to be excited over a pair of shoes, but it's the fact I can now finally look classy and be able to move at the same time.

A lot of ladies lust after other established big name brands, but I say look out for Kandees they may not have the recognisable coloured soles or fancy designer names of others, but they are just as good, if not better, the styles are fresh and the over all theme of candy based designs, is unique and fresh. I my have only just got my first pair, but it won't be my last. I can't wait for the new range to be released, as I have now made a concious decision that I need to save and invest in one pair of quality shoes rather than a couple of pairs of a cheaper make than aren't as well made and end up falling apart.

Kandee's have a convert and it's all down to a generous birthday present from a kind friend, who gave me a pair to cheer me up. Shoes are like friendships, it's the quality of the friendship not the quanity or material value of them that counts. I choose quality every time.

When Shattered nails become shattered nerves.

I don't know what I have done wrong or if I have done anything wrong, but my latest attempted at the shattered nails effect has ended in total disaster. Resembling nothing like the picture below.

After following the rules base coat, two coats of base colour then the shatter coat carefully applies so it doesn't over lap and top coat, the end result is a mess! I know I have a love hate relationship with dynamic nails but this one is suppose to be simple enough for even me and my stubby nails. But for some reason the shatter didn't shatter it just kind of faded off as if I ran out of colour.

Not a major issue in the grand scheme of things, but thoroughly annoying as I am trying to get the right look for next Saturday. I don't have the time, money or sheer physical strength to go and buy another different effect nail polish between now and then. So I am left with a choice. Try again and hope I am just having a bad night, something I doubt as the polish didn't feel right when applied, it felt thick and clumpy like stale mascara. Or choice a normal colour and hope it will look OK.

The problem is although I have a statement dress for Saturday, I can't really wear it as I don't have the suitable accessories, i.e. shoes for it. So I have to wear the more muted dress, with simple black heeled boots, that means the statement piece has to be my make up. Now it seems I don't have the right colour of rust read, and plain black will just fade into the shoes and handbag combo. So I was relying on the black shatter effect as a compromise. That means I have to start over tomorrow and see if the base colour wasn't dynamic enough or whether my suspicions are correct and my shatter polish has had it. If that's the case it will be panic time. All I was trying to achieve was the look in the picture here, nothing fancy, what I have achieved is such as mess I wouldn't dare take a picture of, just imagine sticky licquorice poured over that golden base colour and you would be near it. Even the texture is more of sandpaper than polish.

I really do think the shatter effect isn't the look for me, but where to go next velvet, graffiti or hologram? there is even magnetic to choose from, I just know my shattered nails have succeeded in shattering my nerves tonight.

The problem with perfume

I don't know if it is just me and the medication I am on, but I have real issues with perfumes. Many of the big name perfumes either bring me up in a  rash or smell like the cat has sprayed me.

So today I thought I would explore this struggle. I personally don't have one particular favourite scent, but instead swap about., I use anything from the Thierry Mulger Angel for important events down to Britney Spears Midnight Fantasy and Avon's Secret Fantasy range. If a person is defined by their choice of fragrance I would have to say I am confused

I was first introduced to perfume when I found an old bottle of 4711 which was my grandmothers. because it had kept in dark cool place it was as fresh as the day she had received it. I loved it and still do, mainly because it a refreshing cologne rather than a heavy perfume, Even now I am prone to keeping a bottle of it in my dresser and a cologne stick. It is that always reliable and will be that fail safe when nothing else works. I then found L'amainte by Coty, via my mother. I used that a lot through my teens and early 20s, but as I have got older I feel out of love with it. I can't really say why, but the older and iller I got the less the perfume seemed to work for me.

As I turned 30 my life took many changes, one being being my flat mate of the time. He was man with taste, and although there was nothing more than a sibling like friendship between us, it was he who introduced me to a different world of perfumes. He was honest in his feed back on everything from DIY to fashion and on one of our many shopping trips where mum was dragged along, he got me to try a handful or rather arm full of perfumes. It was then I instantly fell in love with Angel by Thierry Mugler. It is not a cheap perfume but I fell for it in a big way and still love it now. The scent is heavy with vanilla and honey, yet not overwhelming and it just suited me. The design is unique as well and that caught my eye like a magpie. It isn't overtly girly, but it is ladylike and grown up.Ten years later I am still fond of this and it regularly appears on my Christmas list.. The only thing that  prevents me using it 24/7 is purely the high price of it.

So then we head to the complex world of day to day perfume. I dislike the heavy heady scents of the 80's I grew up with, even now if some one mentions the world Poison I retract off in a big way. I prefer something lighter yet individual., and here cam the world of trouble. Ever since the perfume stores stopped sampling on your arm and instead on a piece of card, I have ended up with bottles that smell gorgeous on my piece of card but on my skin suddenly smell like cat pee. It has taken a good five years to find some lighter scents that agree with me.

Now despite what you may think I am not a big fan of celebrity marketing in the world of fragrances and comesmetics. Just bevcause it has a name on it of the latest wannabe or pop idol doesn't draw me to it. In fact the only reason I have a Britney Spears and a Sugarbabes perfume in my collection is because I liked how they smelt on a work colleague and ask to try them, then and only then did I find out I was about to buy into the market of pop perfume. Fortunatly my horror has been balances out with one Avon range of perfume, so I don't have to rely on just the one market.


I feel the problem with the market as whole is therre is too much choice, it is almost a case of quantiy over quality. A lot of these new perfumes have a clinical hospital smell in the bottle, and when you do find one you like it get discontinued faster than you can buy a spare bottle. Perfume is an incrediably sensative product as it relies on the chemical reaction between skin and fragrance and no perfume will smell the same on two different people. It is because of this I think, people tend to follow a family fondness for scents, as the dna reaction between fragrance and skin is likely to be similar.

In the mean time I am still in hunt for a scent that is like my beloved Angel for the day time. Something purse friendly, that has a hint of vanilla and yet light enough not to dominate. I don't care what the bottle looks like or who makes it, I just hope that the smell in the bottle is the same on my skin. Whilst I seek that out I am finding a use for the 10s of failed choices.. rather expensive air freshners!

Colour me cheerful

Due to the popularity of my blogs on shoes, I am going to mix things up a bit. There will still be the blogs on Chronic illness and life in general, but these will be mixed up with blogs on fashion and style.

Today's one is on my favourite kind of make up, nail polish and my favourite brand Nails Inc. I use my favourite brand only because it is easier to highlight a point using the product I understand the most. Now nail polish to me is the only girly thing I really enjoy. If ever I am fed up I just paint my nails, the more down I am, the more elaborate my nails. I am not a lover of false nails of anything, in fact I can't really bare my nails being any length worth stating, but the is a kick back to my musical days when I couldn't have long nails. But that doesn't stop me having fun.

The picture above is my idea of make up heaven, there was a fairy godmother of make up I would wish for one of every colour. I am not some one who has a signature colour or style, I love to mix it up. Although I would admit to a penchant for a good black nail colour. The thing I love about Nails Inc, is the simplicity in it's packaging.its simply yet practical. Sure when I was younger I got caught out by the fancy bottle and so on, but I was often left disappointed with the results on my nails and the clumsiness of actually trying to apply the product to my nails. In a way the bottles remind me of the clean design of an absolute vodka bottle, plain crisp design not distracting from the product inside.

I was introduced to this make by a freebie on a magazine and for once have never looked back. Sure the price is a little steep to just buy each new range as it comes out. However I remember the good advise I got from a very stylish friend of mine who said providing you have a good red, pink and nude in your stock you can rarely get it wrong. Well I took her advice and extended it a little. I always try to keep a good gold and black in stock and have never looked back. Sure I would love to have some of each new trend or style that comes out ever season to match the seasons fashion. How ever in the real world no one can get through that much nail polish. I find styles like neon's leave me cold like they did in shoes and bags, one colour max will suit the whole season of that trend. Nor am I a great lover of pastels, but that's mainly because I have such short tubby nails I have to make them noticed not fade into my hands. But like shoes and other accessories Nails Inc keep up with the trends in nail design. Gone are the days of just a plain colour, you can now have metallic, sparkly, matt, sheer, 3d, hologram, magnetic and even graffiti styles.

I am only just getting to grips with the trend for crackle effect nails like the ones shown here. They are trickier to achieve than you think but the effect is quite dynamic. Not quite the day to day wear of an office job, but a light bit of fun for the weekend or nights out with the girls. This was the first of many new trends that are now on the market, the latest being graffiti, which I am not so sure about but no doubt will succumb to buying a bottle to try in my own time.  To be perfectly honest I find a lot of seasonal trends in both fashion and make up wash over me and leave me stone cold. It is like I have developed this natural filter that enables me to miss the flash in the pan "in " thing, and focus on the product that will carry across many seasons. My favourite in the last couple of years has to be this set Nails Inc brought out for the royal wedding. It not only carried two of my stable colours, but also carried right through 2011 and 2012 with the jubilee and Olympics. The colours work on their own or mixed together. That's what I count as a value purchase, not a throwaway purchase. Like I said in an earlier blog fashion of any kind doesn't have to be wasteful and with these nail polishes I can say hand on heart I haven't wasted a drop of the bottles I have. Although I seriously regret not buying two sets of these.

The thing with nail polish along with most make up purchases, is you can have fun with them. you can mix up colours and affects to suit the purpose or your mood, easier than you can with physical fabric of clothes and the out lay if sensible. You can change it in your lunch time if you want to, with little difficulty. Like tonight the weather is dark and miserable, I am achy and fed up so I may do a Ladybird pattern on my nails to cheer me up. Besides it will create a smile from some people at church. Gone are the days when certain nail colours were associated to certain less mentionable professionals. Now a days nail polish is acceptable in most places, and now I am pleased to see on either sex. They can be used to promotion a cause, like the pink for cancer month, or in support, the various flags on nails during the Olympics.

Make up of any kind is a very personal thing, but I am very keen on the brands I like, in the case of nails it has to be Nails Inc. So I find it almost laughable when my husband looks blank when he is told to go find something to fill my stocking at Christmas. Most women will probably agree they have stables in their make up bag that they swear by, this is one of mine. I imagine other people will have their favourites. But personally no one could got wrong with a bottle of this in my stocking. I know it is the brand I try to treat my friends to when they are down, as they have a colour and style for every occasion. At the moment I am trying to decide the right one for a friend to celebrate her first child. I am thinking that the new graffiti style has just found its place for both me and her.
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Weekend Madness

Would some one kindly explain to me what kind of insanity clicks into the majority of people at the weekend. It used to be contained to the driving on the roads, now it has spread to basic manners in a supermarket.

I don't just mean the simple things like dashing around like a loony tune with a pack on terrors attached. I mean down right rudeness and self centred behaviour. I give you the activities I encountered today. Apart from the arrogance on the roads which nearly caused 2 crashes on the way to the supermarket.  If I had a video camera on that drive I am sure the police would have enough evidence to take at least 4 drivers off the road.

Then we got to the supermarket, once buggy was acquired, it took five minutes just to get into the actual shop due to people carelessly leaving their trolleys man only by children whilst they escort the even younger off spring to the toilets. Once through the security entrance the madness got worse. apart from people scattering trolleys at such angle in the aisles that I stood no chance of getting through, it was the reactions I got when I politely asked them to let me through. Then there was the normal danger of the uncontrolled children, one of whom tried to get a free ride on the back of my scooter. There was the endless tidal wave of shoppers who thought they had no reason to let me in or out of aisles. I in one day became a second class citizen. I was rammed by trolleys, elbowed by one customer and actually cut up in a queue.

Now I have been shopping many times since I required a buggy, but never have I had to put up with such behaviour. Once person had the cheek to say I was being lazy using that buggy and robbing it from an old person who needs it. I drove away before my temper snapped and I became guilty of murder by mobility scooter. It was unbelievable, I know that the weekend is limited and a lot of people have to do all their weekly chores in these two days. But  the need for speed isn't any reason for being down right rude.

This wasn't just aimed at myself, far from it my 70 year old mother/carer got pushed and on more than one occasion separated from me, from people barging their way through. She also got told to make me get out and walk. It is quite unbelievable and very judgemental. I am fighting a battle with my body to get it working to a level that would enable me to have a near normal existence, I don't need comments from the peanut gallery that are ill informed. Nor does my mother need people telling her not to help her only off spring.

If people behaved in the fashion they have today, in their work place 90% of them would be fired or suspended for discrimination, at least they would get a warning for such conduct. So why carry on like this at the weekend, especially where they own children can be influenced by such conduct. These children will then grow up thinking this behaviour is acceptable .

All I can say is roll on next weekend. I will far away from supermarkets, locked up in the N.E.C for the day and the Hilton for the night, at least I know I will be surrounded by people with the same interests as myself, and hopefully manners to match.

The science of fashion with the help of some sweet footwear.

As my shoe blog seemed so popular I thought I would try again at a my views of fashion in my blog, especially as it a great distraction from reality for me. There is a circle of live to fashion which I would love to explore. Using several ranges of Kandee's from the last 12 months I will go on to explain.

At the moment we are suffering an 80's revival with all the neon colours and block colours, I remember that the 1st time round when I was young enough to get away with an canary yellow skirt and royal blue jumper. Granted now a days I have the common sense to keep my neon's to my shoes and bags.. These would add the flash of 80's retro to any audience without the danger of the wearer looking like a radiation exposed parrot.

That era of fashion was hardly based on the tactful and discreet use of colour, but instead the mass overdose of statement colours everywhere from socks to eyes. When I first heard the whispers of 80's revival a shiver went down my spine at the thought of blue eyeliner being mixed with peacock range of eye shadows. If you lived through this era or have seen any rerun think Whitney Houston's video for 2I want to dance with somebody" if you want to understand what I mean. It was just this explosion of bright  colour, done in such a way it could trigger a migraine from 100 yards. Like the greed of the 80's the design and style was an equal match, to translate it to a modern market is actually a hard thing to do as the copious amounts of money are no long around but the volume of colour is needed to keep life vibrant.

That is the major trick of fashion to reflect the social dynamic of the era and in some cases deflect it's affect on the masses. Personally I have a lot of sympathy to the 60's style of fashion. It was a mixture of influences that covered the real birth of pop music and the teenage rebellion, that then moved on to the romantic dreams of a youth wanting no more war and anger in the world.  Nearly every generation since the 60's has lived through a revival of it's fashion and style. Remember the mini skirt was invented in that era, as wear baby pinks and blues for lips and eyes respectively. Up till 3 years ago I had a vintage  60's dress that was my mothers and would regularly come out for evenings out as it seemed to never fall out of style. I all but wept when it finally gave up the ghost from over use. That said my natural taste in make up still pays homage to the panda eyes of the 60's ladies, and my choice of accessories still leans that way to baby pink handbags and pastel pumps. I am waiting for the next true revival of this sty;e of fashion as it is flattering to most ages providing the hemlines match your age.


The whole trick of fashion and it's natural life cycle to reinvent a style from a decade or two ago, is to twist the original and bring something new to the mix. Like the pumps above take a classic 60's colour and add studs to them, making them edgy and fresh. So that they can be worn with everything from basic jeans to a linen dress. As the summer / autumn ranges are coming to their natural end the new colours and styles are coming through. I am seeing a lot of strong winter colours of deep emerald greens as one theme mixed with the power statement red and golds. This is another way fashion is able to lift morale in a grey toned society. In the last 18 months there has been the return of a strong cobalt blue and now these two tones, strong colours to raise spirits and confidence. Colours are as strong a statement as the power dressing shoulder pads of the 80's, only a little easier to work and adapt depending on personal style and shape. So now we are gradually moving away from the neon tones into the bold winter colours, people on any age can adapt this into their wardrobe with out breaking the bank. A simple scarf or bag in a matching colour to the shoes can turn any black work outfit into a highly up to date outfit. Or a new pair of bold colour shoes to match that red or emerald dress hiding in your wardrobe from a few years back, will give it a new less of life.

 

Society has often claimed fashion can be wasteful, and if you buy a new wardrobe every season than yes I agree. But if you follow the science of fashion and have key pieces or rather "a capsule collection" then you can keep up to date by refreshing it with new shoes and bags. The best example is every woman has a LBD (little black dress) or two. In my case I have 4 differing in length for different occasions. So a current pair of black heels is a must. It will refresh all four dresses but I only have to pay for one item. Fashion revives itself in a relativity short space of time, if you bare that in mind you don't need to be wasteful with fashion, but you can still have fun and enjoy it, regardless of age.

Loyality

Today is agony from the moment it started and the weather has depressed me further. However it has come with one very pleasant surprise. The loyalty of my pets Oreo, Rosie and Phoenix especially.

My old and long gone pair of cat and dog Puddin and Jasper were notorious for defending me when I was ill to the point Puddin used to sit on my chest whilst Jasper was at my feet growling, if ever I was too ill to move despite my own natural instinct to keep going. They were so good at this Mum used to know what to do if ever she caught Puddin on my chest, normal phone my work and then the doctors. But the next generation are still a little green round the paws in these skill. Up till now they had shown no inclination of continuing the practise until these last few days. Slowly they have picked up the mantel to the point today they have blatantly been taking shifts sitting with me.

By sitting with me, I don't mean the usual bed hogging that all, especially Phoenix are legendary at. Instead they wait till I am comfortable, which can take a while, then settling either beside me or along the painful joints that needed extra heat. Oreo and Rosie have even taking to light growling when I am asleep to keep people away. To some people this could be seen as weird, even slightly dangerous, but to me it is a great comfort. It means if I am in total agony they will also raise the alarm when I can't.

The reason I am more grateful for this, is the fact it is very much an acceptance from the animals that I am the alpha of the pack, so it is in their interest to ensure I recover quickly. Any one who has a multi animal household particularly where cats and dogs are involved, you need to maintain that status as the pack mentality will kick in. As the owner your need to hold the alpha position to maintain the authority. I have gained this position not through force or dominance, but by building trust and confidence. So this pattern of behaviour for me is an honour to receive, not to mention a cheap way of keeping the muscles warm.

As pet owners, people often expect the wrong thing from their pets, they aren't toys or fashion statements as I have seen in many. You have to give love unconditionally, spend hours teaching them acceptable behaviour and most of all listen and watch them carefully as they  can't tell you what is wrong. All I have ever asked of mine is they are loyal to both each other and the rest of the family. Today these three proved this unconditionally, and in an animal you can't ask for more. Especially as they have sacrificed their own daily routine to do so, particularly Phoenix who loves to go out and about the neighbourhood. I just pray in the future I will repay their confidence to the same level. But for tonight it will be proper chicken for dinner for all of them.

The great countdown

Yep its that time of year in my house when sanity goes into the bin and we females start the packing for our great escape. Its Top Gear Live season, sure this year there is no London for the 2nd week of madness nor are we going for the best part of a week, but instead for a day and a bit. Even that is thanks to a very generous friend who gave me the best 40th birthday present ever. Yet the planning and packing seems to have the same chaotic pattern as the last few years.

Partly due to my medication and making sure I don't forget anything important. But mainly to find a evening outfit striking enough to distract from my crutches. There is also the fact we are pretty much driving through the night to make the most of our escape, so I need to be in clothes that are comfortable enough for me to drive in and yet smart enough for the day. A woman's wardrobe is devised to cover these matters you see. At the moment we are choosing between combats or sweat pants, although it will probably be the former due to the pocket issues. Then there is the matter of a top. The N.E.C is always on the warm side, but I have to wear long sleeves due the pinching issues of crutches, so in theory it needs to be a zip up hoodie, but the zip will be uncomfortable on the journey, so we are now on two tops just for the day. Then there is the shoe issue, for the evening it is sorted to a tried and tested style of heeled boots, but for the day driving and then walking require two different types of trainer.

As you can see the whole principle of packing light is completely lost on me due to medical issues. Then there is my 70 year old mother, she can't adjust to temperature changes so its going to be layers for her. Sure a lot of this could be avoided if we weren't to be leaving before the birds wake, but it is a decent drive away and we ant to enjoy all of the day with the ability of doing it at our pace not a manic charge. Not to mention the annual night time celebration is the big bang of my 40th. So it is very important.

So you can imagine the now panic I am in as my make up bag has now revealed the fact that officially my black eyeliner is now dead and buried. So beyond saving is it that the only way forward is to replace it. Easier said than done, mainly as it is an inconvenience for me as I don't have time to order one by mail. As any woman will tell you make up is a personal thing, you can't just end the husband off with a shopping list and hope. So now I am facing a shopping trip to a chemist or store to play hunt the make up, trouble being none of these places have a mobility scooter available so it will be a case of either  battling through on crutches or doing with out.

So starts the great annual countdown, with mass panic, oh for a fairy god mother to sort this little issue to take the strain off me, we haven't even got to to the suitcase issue, which are in the loft!

Going solo

It had to happen the day when everyone else had other things to do and leave me on my own. That day is today and now, the trouble is it has happened on an official duvet day.

So what is a person to do, well it started with the hour long struggle to get up,  and the appropriate vocab that came with it. In fact that has been the order of the day so far. My life is improved by the heat of the hot water bottle. Now though we have reached the problem of I need coffee and the pain of attempting to go and make one. Such a simple task is so painful and at this present moment physically impossible.

I may sound like I am whining but I am not I have an hours wait and someone will be back to help. But it got me thinking, what about the poor people reliant on daily careers to do this. Their entire life is timetabled to the point of when they get a drink, have something to eat and even get up. It is a frightening thought. To be so reliant on such structure, and what happens if something goes wrong. If there is a dose of our wonderful adverse British weather or similar. I always found snow nothing more than a slight pain in the backside, but now the thought of it terrifies me.

The day progresses in such a fashion that hospital has been ,mentioned more than once.But the problem is no one wants to touch the element of treating me until then I am left to drown in the red tape hospital are so keen on. Tell me where in all this is the suffering and sheer agony I am in, in the best interest of a patient. Sure on the good days I can live a near normal existence and up to a week or so back I was able to plan and do things. But these last ten days the bad has out weighed the good. I try to keep mobile but it is physically impossible when the pain rips through my body like knives and cause me to collapse.

Sure I made it through the two hours on my own but the cost is so great it isn't  worth it. For those two hours have now cost my mother two hours sleep as she has supervised the agony it took for me to get into bed, screaming with pain and crying as it became harder and harder to move. I have ended up in bed pouring with eat and exhausted with the effort. All I want is the pain to go away or at least subside to a bearable level, so that going solo is possible. However now all that's happened is mum working out how e can get afford the furniture adaptations I need to just survive.

All I want is to go to work and have a life, but for now all my family want is for me to be safe enough they can actually go out without worrying about me being solo.

When a prize fighter becomes a womble

For those who don't know we have animals. 2 dogs and 6 cats to be precise. They are all well loved and for the most part well behaved. Except for one our lovely Inuit/ corgi cross, he is well the problem child.

Granted like all of our little family he has been through hell before he came to us, so he was always going to take a lot of work. But for the last 2 years we were on an up hill struggle with his behaviour ever since we lost our older westie, he has been a very stressed dog. Even though we have had a new friend for him. In fact in many ways they just lead each other into mischief. People are scared to come to the door for the racket he makes barking and jumping up at the door. He is so unpredictable to the point I insist he is muzzled to go out, purely as a precaution. What is worse is he is such a one person dog he totally over rides every ones instructions until I issue the command.

Now I have been trying every trick in the book to improve him. Including several discussions with the vet and their nurses. Apparently he is a very nervous and he is displaying this as aggression, but it still needs to be resolved. He already has a hormone collar that has to a degree helped but not enough for my liking. We are looking into a thunder jacket which is like a body con jacket for a dog. How it works I am not entirely sure, it is something to do with the constant feeling of being held is reassuring. However this has mixed results so I am still researching the product, mainly as I am not keen on clothes on animals unless medically necessary. Like in the case of little Rosie she needs tee shirts in the winter purely as she feels the cold so badly, but to make any animal wear something that is not necessary is cruel in my eyes especially something like this.

During my research and before that I have always not liked his name. I feel that to give an animal an aggressive name, especially in dogs not only is asking for trouble from the animal, but creates a fear from strangers if they hear the name called. I was all for changing the name Rocky from day one, especially when I heard he was with in a litter where his brother was called Rambo. The look of Rocky is deceiving as well from a distance you think he is an German shepherd cross. But he isn't he is a failure on the wolf back breeding program, so he is a mix of Inuits along with the cousin breed Husky. The only thing that went wrong was his mum preferred a corgi to the offered father. Don't ask I am still working out how that happened. But it did and we have this dog who looks like one type of dog stuck on corgi legs. Saying that the name Rocky has never really suited him within the family life and his natural behaviour. If anything the name has added to the problems especially regarding the postman / dog battle we have going at the moment. Any way I have been debating getting a therapist in for him and that involved even more reading. Well low and behold I found an article about vocal intonation and its effects on an animal. The harsher the vocal range the more aggressive an animal becomes as it frightens them and makes their natural defence mechanism kick in. In an animal that has so much back breeding in him the natural instinct is more prominate than your adverage mongrel breed. We took him on well aware of the fact all dogs are genetically 99% wolf and with Rocky you can add .5% to that, so we were under no illusion it was up to us the owners to get it right. After much experimentation the whole family has found there is no gentle way to call Rocky, it is just one of those harsh sounding words. To be perfectly honest he doesn't really respond to it either, he was playing up in the same way Garfield rejected his birth name Mau, when he arrived.

So for the last few months I have been trying things out with my little trouble maker and today we hit gold. Not only do we have a happier, calmer dog, we also haven't really had to repeat an instruction twice. The postman wasn't threaten through the window and neither were the bin men. It may yet take a while to get him up to proper standards but I think we are on the right track. May I introduce the dog formally known as Rocky.... his name, as agreed by him is Orinoco (Oreo for short)