Its been a duvet day of the worse kind. Stuck in bed in agony from yesterdays fall. Even the doctor said there is little to be done than let the swollen muscles calm down then the real damage can be assessed. So in the mean time I am bored beyond measure and sore as hell.
Duvet days aren't normally as frustrating as today has been, mainly because I could have avoid this one. I could have avoid it, by not pushing myself to do more than I can physically. I have had a few days where I felt slightly more able to do bits, and subsequently did a little more than I should have. mainly because I don't want a long recovery. I don't care what the specialist has said that there are no short cuts. I am not know to follow rule books so I pushed it. OK this time it back fired and I am paying the price.
The price is worth paying though because due to past experience I know 60% of the time I can cheat the odds and beat them. I am not saying I will be ever fully off the crutches or 100% healed. But when I had all my ear surgery the risks were high. I had a 50/50 chance of face paralysis 80% risk of total loss of hearing in my left ear, and an unmentionable risk of not recovering at all. What happened was yes there was a tiny bit of face paralysis but that was corrected another operation down the line. I only lost 60% hearing and last time I check I am still alive. May be I am spoilt in my success in the past but that's my attitude to it.
My scan is in 13 days and the results are 29 days away, the fear of the results is unbelievable, but why am I waiting for the results when I can try and get stuff sorted on my own. I am not claiming to be a medical specialist or anything like that. But I do know my own body and what feels right or not. Taking that extra step with out sticks or walking that little bit further in any day may sound crazy, but if I don't try I won't know if I can do it or not.
Duvet days are annoying but if it comes from trying that little harder, maybe they are the price worth paying.
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Please feel free to leave a comment or add to this. Its only my thoughts on life. I just raise the questions in my mind.