What would you write

Any adult will know this problem, you are going for a new job and you have to find personal as well as professional references. My husband is currently hunting the relevant people down as we speak. Some times its easy as you have a good track record and people are keen to praise you. Other times not so easy like in the case of one of my jobs the company ceased trading so there was no where to request a reference from. However during hubbies rounds to collect said reference he was asked a very blunt and poignant question.
   "If the roles were reversed what would you write ?"

That is such a hard question to answer if you think about it. What would you write? Really if you were being honest? We all know what we want to write and how we would like to be portrayed, but would it be truthful. What if we had to be 100% truthful what would be really like. At the end of the day are we really punctual? we really give our all to a task? are we always truthful and loyal? Suddenly it all seems more serious a question. In reality we are asking a friend to risk their personal and professional reputation on what they put in a reference, and their friendship if they won't do it.

Gone are the days when you could walk into a job, maybe do a trial shift and get a job, like I used to get my bar jobs. Even for a simple waiting job you need references, and for administration you are often asked for a either a credit check or a crb check. The world has become a harder less personally place. You the human being no longer counts for much, instead its you the statistic that counts. Do you tick all the required boxes. Are you prone to sudden sickness etc, if so your chances are reduced greatly as I have found. If you have only a limited work history in this country that counts against you as my husband has found. He served in the US NAVY and then 8 years behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler with hazardous material. Both highly responsible jobs, but neither converted over here, instead he is reduced to manual labour as in the UK his admin skills aren't recognised.

I understand how hard it is to write a reference, as I have in fact written many for things like Princes trust awards and so on. Getting the balance between the truth and giving a person a chance is such a fine line. So next time you write something about someone else please think if the roles were reversed what would you write?