Going solo

It had to happen the day when everyone else had other things to do and leave me on my own. That day is today and now, the trouble is it has happened on an official duvet day.

So what is a person to do, well it started with the hour long struggle to get up,  and the appropriate vocab that came with it. In fact that has been the order of the day so far. My life is improved by the heat of the hot water bottle. Now though we have reached the problem of I need coffee and the pain of attempting to go and make one. Such a simple task is so painful and at this present moment physically impossible.

I may sound like I am whining but I am not I have an hours wait and someone will be back to help. But it got me thinking, what about the poor people reliant on daily careers to do this. Their entire life is timetabled to the point of when they get a drink, have something to eat and even get up. It is a frightening thought. To be so reliant on such structure, and what happens if something goes wrong. If there is a dose of our wonderful adverse British weather or similar. I always found snow nothing more than a slight pain in the backside, but now the thought of it terrifies me.

The day progresses in such a fashion that hospital has been ,mentioned more than once.But the problem is no one wants to touch the element of treating me until then I am left to drown in the red tape hospital are so keen on. Tell me where in all this is the suffering and sheer agony I am in, in the best interest of a patient. Sure on the good days I can live a near normal existence and up to a week or so back I was able to plan and do things. But these last ten days the bad has out weighed the good. I try to keep mobile but it is physically impossible when the pain rips through my body like knives and cause me to collapse.

Sure I made it through the two hours on my own but the cost is so great it isn't  worth it. For those two hours have now cost my mother two hours sleep as she has supervised the agony it took for me to get into bed, screaming with pain and crying as it became harder and harder to move. I have ended up in bed pouring with eat and exhausted with the effort. All I want is the pain to go away or at least subside to a bearable level, so that going solo is possible. However now all that's happened is mum working out how e can get afford the furniture adaptations I need to just survive.

All I want is to go to work and have a life, but for now all my family want is for me to be safe enough they can actually go out without worrying about me being solo.