Time to check my ego

Not quite as radical as you may think but as my land mark birthday rolls ever closer I am trying to get my requests into check. Some things are now irrelevant to my life and others near impossible. Suddenly getting to 40 isn't so much a milestone as a teardrop in a waterfall.

In reality I do have a cosmopolitan taste in material purchases, most of which don't even have viability in my current financial state. My love of converse trainers is legendary, as in leather jackets and I have just found the most amazing website for them called Bold Leathers. These along with my taste for Kandee boots are all a little out of my range this year for present requests. And like I said in an earlier post I have a friend who has found the best birthday surprise for me so I am not so wanting.

That said I am still steering family and friends to a Face Book page for my me to you fix Dawns Tailored Page has been a diamond find for a bear junkie like me, and now I can go as far as saying I have made a friend from a professional relationship. The owner of the page has taken time to get to know me, chat to me on line when I am having a duvet day and play endless days of scrabble on line with me to save my brain from rot. In return I have been able to use my sales experience to help her and advise her with marketing. This has become a great friendship, created from one person taking time with her customers to make them feel human. So if anyone has asked what do I want for my birthday they are being sent there.

Don't get me wrong if a fairy godmother said I could restock my wardrobe with Kandee Converse and Bold leather, along with a few other things, I would jump at it. But my ego and material wants have been brought into check this year. I have lost my financial Independence and security due to not being able to work and suddenly things I would have just gone and got are now not an option. So why should I have the nerve to ask others for them. Instead I have learnt to value the non monetary things like friendship and conversation, anything else is an added bonus. Having spent days at home only speaking to the family within the house, you see the privilege of having friends who will take time out of their busy lives to spend time with you, take you out, and so on.

Maybe I had been too materialistic in my life, although I was never the person with the newest phone,ipod etc. I just like what i like. Say with trainers my feet just suit converse or nike. I have tried others over the years and pound for pound its always worked out cheaper for me to buy those brands and wear them to death, and I mean death. Normally the trainers walk themselves to the bin and commit suicide.But that is usually after a couple of years hard wear. I don't or rather didn't just go and buy the latest style or design but replaced as per necessity. Now I am limited on funds they have to be really dead for me to replace them and involve saving for them. Its a big ego check to think do I fancy something or do I really need it.

We all know we have that dream if we in the lottery, mine is now if I get a job I will get .. and then there is a list of wants. Although even that starts with take friends to an event as my treat. Maybe I am getting old, or maybe I am being realistic. Most of all I have control of my ego.